Lessons Learned Complilation

Never say that horror cinema is not a tool of education. As loyal readers know, all reviews published here at the Doll's House include a batch of "lessons learned," new knowledge that I may never have gained had I not popped in that scratched DVD of Feeders  or The Deadly Bees. Would I even be alive today had I not learned how to properly confound a killer mermaid with a net? (Thanks, Killer Mermaid.)

While I don't have a complete list of every SINGLE lesson listed out anywhere, I do make a tradition of selecting one kernel of each film I've seen at the end of each year. Below are links to the complete lists:

Year 1
 
Featuring dead cheerleaders, homicidal beds, roller skating cannibals, and so much more
 
Year 2
 
Knowledge accrued via street fighters, triangles, spirals, and topless Leslie Nielsens
 
Year 3
 
Nutcrackers, black devil dolls form hell, winged serpents, Tara Reid in glasses, and among others, haunted chairs 

Year 4
 
Cop dogs, Clancy Browns, athletic golden retrievers,  whatever the hell a Delgo is, and rapping genies

Year 5
 
Stranger danger, William Shatner danger, pop tart danger, fantasy teddy bears who chase kidney stones, and more totally normal stuff
 
Year 6
 
Learn all about the world while visiting mummy theme parks, lonely places to die, Cooperstown, and Jonestown-esque facilities that are totally not Jonestown but totally are Jonestown
 
Year 7
 
If there's a better way to learn anything than with a poodle parade led by Joan Crawford, I don't want to know