It’s an annual tradition in these parts to take the last week in January as the day I celebrate my favorite movies that I reviewed over that past year. It’s my late stab at doing a ‘best of’ list, and also, my own little way of remembering that it was this same week WAY back in 2009 that I decided to build my own doll’s house in literary cinematic form.
Here we are, FIFTEEN YEARS later, and what can I say? The world has changed. I’ve gone from my 20s to my 40s, lived a few lifetimes, and have witnessed the birth of FOUR additional installments in the Children of the Corn franchise.
And have still yet to find an actual good one.
In other words, don’t worry: this site remains what it is and has always been, a little nook on the internet to grab a weekly dose of my blathering on about the most rewarding genre.
With that in mind, here are the best movies I reviewed here in 2023. And remember: I never said I had good taste.
14. Snow White: A Tale of Terror
Fantasy horror hit a draught in the ‘90s, with director Michael Cohn’s mid-budget Snow White dying a slow death on Showtime. While not a masterpiece, it’s a gorgeous-looking film and most importantly, features a true movie star performance from Sigourney Weaver. She clearly relished the chance to go big, but what makes her wicked stepmother such an anchor is how much pathos she brings to this character. The last few years have seen a minor renaissance in this kind of film, and all of them share this kind of layered, glamorous villainess who tends to grab more of the audience interest than the bland ingenue intended to be the story’s heart. Snow White is far from perfect or even the best telling of this kind of story, but there’s a lot here that is easy to relish.
13. Hounded
We’ve seen plenty of variations on Hounded’s plot: poor but plucky young delinquents attempt to rob old money snobs only to discover they’ve punched their tickets as prey in The Most Dangerous Game. There’s nothing that revolutionary about Hounded, but director Tommy Boulding imbues his version with a surprising amount of heart. His characters are human beings who aren’t ready to face (or cause) death, even if it comes at the hands of the deliciously gravel-voiced head huntress Samantha Bond.
12. The Strays
Sometimes a good movie becomes great in its last ten seconds. Making his filmmaking debut, writer/director Nathaniel Martello-White takes several big genre-bending twists as he follows Neve, an upper class stay-at-home mom and light-skinned black woman whose past comes back to reckon with the life she meticulously, immorally built for herself. It’s not a perfectly paced story, but it’s aided by some ferocious performances and, most importantly, one of the most wickedly satisfying film endings I’ve ever seen.
11. Bit
Low budget lesbian vampire stories aren’t the first thing I expect to add to a best-of list, but I knew immediately after watching Bit that it would find its spot here. Trans rights activist Nicole Maines stars as a recent high school graduate who falls into the wrong (or right?) undead crowd headed by the insanely cool Diana Hopper. Writer/director Brad Michael Elmore doesn’t change the genre landscape, but he finds a new angle into an old story and lets his incredibly charismatic actresses thrive.
David Koepp reunited with his Stir of Echoes star Kevin Bacon for this extremely satisfying twist on the haunted house format. Bacon stars as the much older husband of Amanda Seyfried’s movie star wife. When they take their daughter to a secluded Welsh farmhouse for some family bonding, things quickly unravel. Much like another title a few spots up this list, You Should Have Left is a pleasant reminder that sometimes, A-list talent still has a place in the horror genre.
9. Sea Fever
Who can ever say no to Alien at sea? Neasa Hardiman’s sci-fi body horror follows an awkward grad student’s ill-fated ride on a fishing boat through extraterrestrial squid territory. It’s short, it’s gooey, and it’s so efficient in its storytelling that my only real problem was that I wanted more.
It’s not secret that evil children are one of my all-time favorite types of horror movie villains, which also means I’ve also seen a LOT of evil children horror movies. You have to work hard to tap into something fresh. That’s what makes Eskil Vogt’s The Innocents such a special watch. Set under the shining Nordic sun, The Innocents follows a set of kids who seem to be randomly gifted extraordinary powers of the mind. The problem? They’re so young that they don’t necessarily understand their own moral grounding. It’s eerie, occasionally horrific, and always unsettling.
It was a good year for The Shortening! Writer/director Chris Peckover nails a clever tone with his Christmas-set home invasion that follows a plucky babysitter (the always reliable Olivia DeJonge) and her more-than-meets the eye charge (Levi Miller). The easy description is that this is the natural horror movie progression of Home Alone, but that sells Peckover’s work short. This is a filmmaker who has a lot to say and explore, and more importantly, has such a mastery of the genre that he manages to do so in funny AND shocking ways.
6. Phantom of the Mall: Eric’s Revenge
There are ‘80s horror movies, and there are ‘80S HORROR MOVIES. Phantom of the Mall is set at a MALL. It has SKATEBOARDING deaths. SHOULDER PADS. MORGAN FAIRCHILD IN SHOULDER PADS. These things are great on their own, but toss in some early capitalist satire and even more sequins and you’re in for a truly delightful treat.
5. Citizen X
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Unlike a lot of my fellow horror brethren, I find serial killers and particularly, movies based on REAL serial killers more nauseating than entertaining. Citizen X, an early HBO original movie, gets a bit of a pass for having enough distance between its true crime pedigree and the present to assuage my guilt at being so intrigued by a horrific crime involving real people. Because seriously: this movie is highly entertaining. Stephen Rea plays a Soviet forensic specialist leading an 8-year investigation into a child murderer. That’s hard, but doing so under the bureaucratic weight of the Soviet Union is nearly impossible. Thankfully, there’s Donald Sutherland as a higher up with a better understanding of how to play the game. Watching these actors play off each other is a thrill, especially when you factor in a good old-fashioned detective story told well.
4. Influencer
3. Copycat
Sometimes you spend 20+ years assuming you’d seen a popular big budget studio film only to discover you were mixing it up with a dozen other movies. Thankfully, I finally sat down to watch 1995’s Copycat and was rewarded with something special: big movie stars giving it their all in a sharp thriller filled with everything you want on the big screen. Copycat is the kind of movie that doesn’t really get made anymore, though you can certainly see its legacy on streaming miniseries that often misunderstand the appeal of a good investigative mystery. Holly Hunter and Sigourney Weaver are at the top of their game as two incredibly capable, yet very different professional women who are the last thing standing between a psychopath and a whole lot of innocent victims. It’s a master class in how to do a popcorn flick right.
2. Sissy
Influencer culture is a hot topic in this year’s indie horror, and though I still flinch when someone sends me a TikTok, I’m all for it. With Sissy, the writer/director team of Kane Senes and Hannah Barlow craft an incredibly rich portrait of a successful but anxiety-filled social media star who can’t quite let go of the emotional scars of her past. Lead Aisha Dee is achingly good in the titular role, making it easy for the audience to actively root for her success even if it means the death of a few innocent bystanders. This was one of the most satisfying watches I’ve had in a long, long time.
1. Dual
Riley Stearns is one of the most interesting filmmakers working today with the lowest profile, and with an output as good as Dual and Faults, I hope things stay that way. More black comedy than the futuristic sci-fi its plot synopsis sells, Dual follows an unlucky woman (played to deadpan perfection by Karen Gillan) misdiagnosed with a fatal disease in a future where you can commission your own double to take over your life when you die. When her illness proves to be minor, she’s now challenged by a clone who won’t leave in a society that has specific, bureaucratic systems in place to deal with such matters. It’s incredibly funny and exceedingly weird in ways that call The Lobster to mind, and I absolutely loved it.
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