He Sees You When You're Babysitting

Welcome to the Annual February Shortening! In honor of the shortest month on a blog written by a short woman, all posts are devoted to stories about vertically challenged villains. If you, reader of any height, have your own mini-horror to share, do so in the comments and I'll include you in a final post roundup as the calendar changes!

Better Watch Out's Christmas Eve setting might make it out of season for a usual February morning, but for reasons that become clear post-spoiler warning, this film certainly fits this month's theme.

Quick Plot: Ashley (The Visit's Olivia DeJonge) is an attractive high schooler a few days away from moving, making tonight the last time she'll babysit 12-year-old Luke (Levi Miller). Yes, he's probably too old to need a sitter, but considering he's nursed a fairly obvious crush on the older blond, he doesn't object. Their evening starts off with the usual hijinks: boy tries to impress uninterested and age-inappropriate girl, girl's boyfriend calls, mystery pizza shows up, and an armed mystery man enters with a shotgun.

To go any further into Better Watch Out would be to spoil a very surprising plot element that is key to discussing the film. If all you know about Better Watch Out is that it's a Christmas horror story about a babysitter and her charge dealing with a home invasion, stop reading after the spoiler warning below. I'm shocked that I went five years without catching the film's actual plot, so much credit goes to the rare marketing restraint. It makes the twist all the more powerful. Ultimately, I'm a bit mixed on the final product, though I do think this is a smartly made tale with a lot of dark things to say. 

Now, stop here all who know no more

Better Watch Out is not a cute story about teamwork: it's a mean little twist on Home Alone where Kevin McAllister has grown a few school years into an incel. The man with a gun isn't an intruder: it's Luke's friend Garrett (played by Ed Oxenbould, also of The Visit) who's been roped into helping Luke in an ill-fated seduction attempt with the shocked and disgusted Ashley. Things escalate quickly and before you can tell Fuller to go easy on the Pepsi, Ashley is tied to a chair, watching in horror as Luke lures her ex-boyfriends to meet their own Wet Bandit-inspired ends. 

Writer/director Chris Peckover made Better Watch Out after Undocumented, an incredibly upsetting found footage-style horror movie that was rather fearless in how hard it looked at the racist American attitude toward immigration. Better Watch Out isn't quite as on the nose as Undocumented, but it shares a very clear sense of despair at the darkness lurking inside everyday souls. 

Luke is an absolute monster, made all the worse by the contrast between the insecure and weak Garrett. Miller and Oxenbould play off each other well, and when you add in Dacre Montgomery and Alex Mikic as Ashley's exes, Better Watch Out does seem to have some interesting things to say about the utter inadequacies of young men. I wish the film made it a tad clearer that Luke was more pathetic than precocious (based on some online discourse, I'm not sure that all viewers agree) but save for the stinger ending, there's something satisfying about watching a kid who thinks he's king be undone...so long as you ignore the stinger. 

High Points

Olivia DeJonge has been doing great work since The Sisterhood of the Night. Ashley is a bit underwritten (which may be part of the film's point, as we're seeing most of it through Luke's eyes) but DeJonge manages to create such a clear and natural presence that we're fully invested, and deeply satisfied by the film's ending

Low Points

I watched Better Watch Out via Peacock, which did that thing that many a streaming service thinks viewers want by immediately skipping the credits and heading straight into the next nearby title. This meant it took me three tries to confirm the mid-credits sequence, and boy, I really wish I took Peacock's hint and skipped it. 

Lessons Learned

Huntsman spiders are rampant in certain parts of "the United States"

Duct tape: don't babysit without it

Gross dads breed gross kids (and yes, I know we all love Patrick Warburton, but if ogled Ashley any more, she could have sued him right there and avoided a very bad evening)

Rent/Bury/Buy

I can't say I had a good time with Better Watch Out: its subject matter is so ugly that it's hard to enjoy the brisk 90 minute ride. Still, between this and Undocumented, Peckover has certainly shown that he's unafraid to face current horrors by way of crafting an effective genre film. I'm a little disturbed to see so much discourse about this movie refer to it as a comedy because it makes me think some audiences didn't get the point, but what can you do?