Dot Squared

Let’s start with the title: Dot.Kill

What’s up with that? The word ‘dot’ is there, so adding the ‘.’ is both redundant and confusing. Imagine you adored this film and want to recommend it to your best pal. A conversation would go like this:

You: Look it up. Dot Kill.

Pal: Dot, like, do I write the word ‘dot’ or just make a dot?

You: Both.

Pal: Wait, so the title is Dot Dot Kill?

You: No, it’s Dot but then there’s an actual dot and then the word 'Kill'.

Pal: But that doesn’t make any sense.

You: But it looks cool.

Pal: No it doesn't, it looks stupid and redundant.

You: You're right. Let's go eat nachos.

Pal: Dot done.

Quick Plot: Someone with a fast speed Internet connection is staging elaborate Saw-ish murders for all of cyberspace to see, including the slacker son of Detective Daines. Daines (or Double Dees, because that's a far better nickname) is dying of lung cancer, coughing his way through a morphine addiction and general surliness. Having to deal with a whiz kid in a wheelchair tech consultant doesn't help his condition, nor does the fact that the entire world gets to watch his squad fail to save lives online.

Yes, it's essentially an earlier version of Firewall (I assume, since I've never seen Firewall but assuming never hurt anyone, right?). Directed by respectable filmmaker John Irvin (Ghost Story, Raw Deal, Hamburger Hill) and starring the generally respectable (unless put in an NBC mythological miniseries) Armand Assante, Dot.Kill is competently made. It's just also kind of boring.

It's not hard to finger the killer, which would be fine if the film had anything interesting to say about him. It does not. 


How about the whole issue of an apathetic but blood hungry public sitting back as their desktops stream brutal murders in real time? I'm sure there's a few questions we should be asking about that.

But eh. That requires a lot of work. We've got nachos to eat.

High Points

The idea of making your hero a highly flawed individual with a death sentence certainly gives Dot.Kill an interested story base, and Assante coughs up lungs with admirable gusto

Not one, but 2-TWO uses of my favorite "Nooooooooooooooooo!" are found following explosions

Low Points

I can't remember the last time I've seen a film begin with less energy than Dot.Kill. While the rest of the film maintains enough motivation, the opening scene or two (including one set in a strip club less fun than the DMV) just seems to spell doom

Lessons Learned

Shouting at a subordinate to "talk to me!" but following his first attempt to do so with "shut up!" doesn't help anyone, least of all the exasperated audience

This Internet shit can give you nightmares

Do not, for the health and happiness of all, mess with Armand Assante's breakfast routine

Rent/Bury/Buy
Meh. Dot.Kill isn't awful, but I don't know that I'll remember anything about it (save for the annoying punctuation decision in the title) by July 4th. It's just there, and then it ended, and then I realized it would have been better if I'd watched it whilst eating aforepictured nachos That's really all I have to say about that.