What Pairs Best With Foot?

 

You know what subgenre doesn't get the credit it deserves? Dinner party horror. Give me an elegant shot of protein's greasy skin, the sparkle of a dangly earring frantically bouncing as the tense but impeccably dressed hostess pours the wine, and that moment of awkwardness when a guest asks the wrong question and what can I say? I'm very easy to satisfy.

Quick Plot: Upper class Gwyn and Glenda (THAT'S FUN TO SAY) are hosting a hoity toity soiree in their sprawling country estate with the last minute assistance from Cadi, a quiet local. Also in the mansion are spoiled adult sons Gweirydd (a triathlon athlete) and (maybe) recovering drug addict Guto.

Glenda doesn't seem to notice that Cadi has virtually nothing to say, mostly because the rich socialite seems to really enjoy the sound of her own voice. Her husband is equally insufferable as a member of parliament. Their first guest of the evening, Euros, is somehow even worse: he's a snobby businessman in charge of drilling for valuable minerals underneath farmland. 

Considering The Feast's first tag is "folk horror", you can guess where this is going. 

Throughout the evening, Cadi seems to absorb the rotten core of her employers, process it, and spit it right back out at them. These are awful people who take what they want with no regard for the land it comes from. They deserve a very, very bad night.

Witten by Roger Williams and directed by Lee Haven Jones, The Feast is a simple story with a clear message.  Making his feature film debut, Jones shows admirable skill behind the camera. The Feast looks and sounds impeccable. And then it gets very, very gross.

That's a good thing! There's an all-in style that I appreciate, even if it feels a little easy. This isn't an epic film or one for any all-time list, but it's a solid entry into the always welcome folk (and dinner party) horror. 

High Points

The overall tone of The Feast is positively intoxicating. Between Samuel Sim's moody score, Bjørn Ståle Bratberg 's rich cinematography, and the entire cast's unnerving performances, this is a sumptuous experience

Low Points

At barely 90 minutes long, it's perfectly reasonable for The Feast to feel small, but I do wish it threw in a teeny bit more of a challenge. Minor spoilers: the family is so unrepentantly awful that it's pretty hard for the audience to feel much actual tension once Cadi's hand is revealed. It's certainly satisfying, but I just wonder if there was a bit more room for surprise (and yes, I realize I'm saying this about a film where a character inserts a glass shard in her vagina and feeds a man his host's maggot-infested shin)

Lessons Learned

You won't find bok choy on a local grocery shelf

So much of early motherhood is cutting fruit into small pieces

A whole lot of work goes into making a pavlova

Rent/Bury/Buy

I caught The Feast as it was leaving Hulu, but it's likely moving to another streamer (it feels VERY Kanopy). Any fan of folk horror will find a lot to digest (SEEWHATIDIDTHERE).

The Sound of Silence

It should go without saying at this point that any horror fan should be investing in a Shudder subscription. Not every new film it hosts works, but you can usually count on whatever it's pushing to at least be of interest to the genre. 

Quick Plot: Title cards inform us that the rapture has occurred, and an unspecified (but seemingly significant) amount of time later, the world is recovering by keeping quiet. One cult centers their belief system around the concept of speech being a sin. Members sever their vocal cords and occasionally make human sacrifices to a carnivorous clan of creatures known as "The Burned Ones."

Azrael (scream queen Samara Weaving) and her lover Kenan attempt to escape with varying levels of success. We follow Azrael through bloody battle in the woods, hitchhiking help down the road, and all-out destruction as she ends up back at camp. Throughout the full 90 minutes, we hear no discernible words. 

Azrael is written by The Guest (and to far lesser acclaim, Seance's) Simon Barrett, a man who's found tremendous success in low-to-mid-budget 21st century horror (though more often than not, left me pretty cold). Director E.L. Katz has played in the same circle, with Cheap Thrills and an ABCs of Death 2 credit. 

Despite a pretty specific and unique hook, Azrael doesn't really have that much going on. Weaving is unsurprisingly great in the title role, and makes a believably resourceful heroine on the run. Or so we assume? There's so little backstory or meat on the script's bone that for all we know, Azrael is a worse villain than her religious captors. Who knows?

I appreciate a lean film that doesn't have to explain itself, and on that front, Azrael is likely a satisfying watch for many a genre fan. Its action is well-staged, and it has some pretty gnarly creature design that goes a long way. I didn't dislike the process of watching the movie, but as soon as it ended, I found myself shrugging. There's simply NOTHING there in terms of weight, character, or story. 

High Points

Let it never go unsaid: Samara Weaving is a movie star. Let us all be thankful that she also seems to love the horror genre and keeps making these kinds of movies

Low Points

I know that the average film audience member is not expected to be very smart, but do we really need a flashback twenty minutes into a story? 

Lessons Learned

Rock music is the universal language of the post-rapture future

Never turn your back on a human sacrifice

Love makes us do very dumb things, such as forgetting that the tribe who raised you is very good at setting traps

Rent/Bury/Buy

Azrael doesn't really have much to say (GET IT?!), but it's a fun, efficient little ride that has just enough to make its gimmick work for its short stay. Have at it on Shudder. 

Nerd Alert!

 

It's been far too long since I nerded out with some genre book recommendations. So put on those spectacles and let's go to the library!

Fantasticland by Mike Bockoven

World War Z (the book, not bland excuse for a movie) laid out a pretty great template for how to tackle an high concept story. Oral histories aren't new, but Max Brooks took the format to such success with his epic zombie tale that it's not surprising to see the next generation of horror novelists try the same thing. Mike Bockoven doesn't really have the same sharpness in his actual writing, but by golly can he tell a fun story. In Fantasticland, we follow the bizarre fallout of an unprecedented hurricane locking a Florida theme part away from the rest of the world. The mostly twentysomething part-time employees are left to quickly form their own tribes, enjoying all of the concession stand offerings while turning gift shop souvenirs into grand scale weaponry. It's a wild ride that doesn't fully work if you think too hard about it, but you'll have a hard time putting it down. 

Pair It With:

H.G. Bells' Sleep Over is similarly a better idea than novel, but it's SUCH a good idea. It follows the same oral history style as Fantasticland, only with more widespread apocalyptic overtones. One day, nobody can sleep. And the next day, they still can't. What happens to the world when every one of its inhabitants is functioning in a fugue state? A whole lot of pretty horrible stuff. Enjoy!

Natural Beauty by Ling Ling Huang

 

There's nothing new is framing the beauty industry as body horror, but Ling Ling Huang's exploration brings some new ideas to the table. A former piano prodigy stumbles into a day job at an innovative new spa. Before she can read the side effects, she's experiencing bizarre transformations that turn her Chinese-American identity into something very, very different. Huang's writing isn't for everyone, but it's a very specific window that's worth a peek through. 

Pair It With:

I haven't had the chance to write about just how much I loved The Substance, and now that it's a bona fide 4-time Oscar nominee, there's a part of me that feels like you don't need me telling you what you probably already know: it's a joyfully gross rave of just how weird body dysmorphia makes us. 

Mister Magic by Kiersten White

The setup of Mister Magic is incredibly cool: the youth cast of a Romper Room-esque kids show reunites as adults, only nobody, including the internet, quite remembers why the show ended in the first place. There is somehow no video evidence of it ever even airing, though the Mandela Effect is in full swing with chat room typers who can fill in the blanks. Author Kiersten White was raised Mormon and seems to use Mister Magic as a thoughtful way to explore the stifling, dangerous nature that religion wields over its children. The novel doesn't quite go as dark as you might expect early on so horror readers should keep their expectations in check. Still, it's a unique idea that should satisfy some readers.

Pair It With:

I had last mentioned Mister Magic in a review for Mr. Crocket, which certainly shares some story threads in following an '80s children's television show personality with nefarious motives towards his audience. It's an easy double bill, but I'll also throw out the title of 2024's best film, and one that also happens to use fuzzy media nostalgia as a lens to find a deeper understanding of identity: I Saw the TV Glow.

Siren Queen by Nghi Vo

If you liked Babylon but thought it needed more dark magic, allow me to introduce you to the glorious Siren Queen. Set in the golden pre-Hays Code Hollywood, Nghi Vo's novel follows an ambitious Chinese American actress as she navigates monstrous studio heads and witchy wilting stars who have all sold aspects of their soul to live the dream. Luli is willing to do the same but only on the condition that she never be cast as a maid. So where does that leave a non-caucasian, queer starlet? Well, as the monster of course! Vo goes all in with turning the studio backlots into a weekly witches' sabbaths, with characters shapeshifting into far more interesting creatures than any plastic surgery could create. 

Pair It With:

I'm not always the biggest fan of Hollywood stories, as the behind-the-scenes narratives usually just feel too insidery or depressing. Both descriptions fit a film I love in spite of this: Kevin Kolsh and Dennis Widmeyer's Starry Eyes, which stars a game Alex Essoe as a struggling actress who finds herself in situations not unlike Luli. If you enjoyed the brutal Starry Eyes, Siren Queen might read for you as a similar story told decades earlier.

A Certain Hunger by Chelsea G. Summers 

Deliciously twisted is the best way I'd describe this novel, which follows a painfully chic food critic who discovers that nothing tastes as good as the perfectly prepared flesh of an ex. It's impossible not to be swept up in the glamorous, worldly life of our occasional cannibalistic narrator Dorothy Daniels. Summers relishes Dorothy's unapologetic hedonism, and I found it impossible not to root for her to savor every bite.

Pair It With:

I'm certainly not saying Ridley Scott's Hannibal is a good movie, but it is, in the words of modern vernacular, a VIBE, and therefore, a fitting pairing to A Certain Hunger in celebrating the carnal pleasure of perfectly prepared meat.