You Ain't Nothin' But Hounded

There are only so many stories one can tell, particularly in a 100 year old medium that puts out hundreds of properties every year. It's almost an annual tradition to find a low budget spin on The Most Dangerous Game in the horror genre, and one I welcome. 

Quick Plot: A quartet of thieves decides to take on the fateful one last job stealing an antique ceremonial knife out of a sprawling and isolated estate. Naturally, the owners return early and flip the script.

One blurry van ride later and they're now even farther away from bustling London, dumped into the British countryside and told to take their head start. Leader Leon, his brother Charlie, and their pals Vix and Tod learn the game pretty quickly: it's an old fashioned (and illegal) fox hunt, and they're the prey. 

The hunters are the Redwicks, a family of blue bloods as white and aristocratic as you can possibly imagine. Decked out in red riding gear and the poshest of accents, they treat their murder spree as the highest of sports while our young heroes have to use their smarts to survive. 

The most pleasant surprise about Hounded is that for a typical hunt 'em down horror movie, it has a shockingly kind soul, with characters who act like genuine human beings. Sure, our protagonists are thieves who make their living by (mildly) victimizing (very wealthy) others, but as soon as they're thrust into danger, they stand united. Charlie is shaken and guilt-struck when his escape tactic leads to a hunter's death. It's a rare human moment that most horror films wouldn't think to acknowledge. 

Death is obviously a huge part of the genre, and while many films give that the weight it deserves, these kinds of more action-driven basic stories usually race through the stakes. But the truth is that if most of us were being hunted and ended up killing those trying to kill us, the fact that we just took a human life would hit hard.

Hounded is the directorial debut of Tommy Boulding, who served as the editor for an impressive batch of genre films (including the very good Possum and very fun Choose or Die). It's definitely a strong start, with a solid script by the team of Dean Lines and Ray Bogdanovich. No dogs die and a bear trap goes off. What more can I want?

High Points

I didn't recognize the lead Redwick, Samantha Bond (a stage actress best known in film for playing Moneypenny in the '90s Bond movies) but I know I'll clock that voice in ANYTHING going forward. She plays the cool and collected villain so perfectly to the point that I was weirdly satisfied with the film's ending (I'll tread around spoiling) because as awful a person as her character is, I would watch a whole series built around those striking vocal chords. 

Low Points

Stay with me: this is a negative that's actually a positive. Hounded is barely 90 minutes long and as much of it is chase-based, stays incredibly lean on exposition or much in the way of character details. That helps the film tremendously in feeling like a quick dark ride, and with a first-time filmmaker and low budget, was absolutely the right choice to make. BUT, the low ambitions is what will keep this as a "better than it should be" rather than a "great" little watch, because there's not that much to linger with you. We just don't get enough time with our heroes or history on our villains to really feel like there's much substance. Again, I think Boulding was probably wise to pace his debut as he did, but ultimately, it means I walk away from this film being more excited about what he can do next rather than with what I just experienced. Consider it a double edged ceremonial knife.

Lessons Learned

Money doesn't buy you taste

When planning a robbery, always wear comfortable athletic clothes (you know, in case the tables are turned and you're left playing the most dangerous game)

Rich British humor generally targets fishermen

Rent/Bury/Buy

Hounded (or Hunted, if you find it via Amazon Prime) was a pleasant surprise. It doesn't necessarily do anything you haven't seen before, but it does what you expect quite well, then tops itself with a few smart choices. There's a part of me that wishes it had more ambition to its storytelling, but sometimes a small bite is just enough. 

I Choo Choo Choose Not to Die

 

In the ever-growing realm of streaming services, Netflix probably has one of the lesser track records for original horror movies. Sure, there are a handful of successes (Fear Street, There's Someone Inside Your House, the Mike Flanagan train) but it just doesn't seem to have much invested in marketing its genre offerings. Maybe that's why so many diehard horror fans seem ready to pounce on its exclusive titles and tear them apart. 

Quick Plot: As Tolstoy once said, all happy families are alike, but every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way, and in the case of Choose or Die's prologue characters, this one is being driven to monstrous self-harm inspired by an '80s computer game. 

Three months after a particularly violent incident, our action shifts to Kayla, a talented aspiring programmer who can't seem to catch a break. Her job applications get rejected, the eviction notices pile up, a drug-dealing neighbor continues to threaten, and the memories of her drowned baby brother keep haunting. No wonder Kayla's agoraphobic mother is hanging on by a thread.

Enter Kayla's nerdy pal Isaac with a trash pile of techware, including a game that looks suspiciously similar to something we saw three months (or ten minutes) earlier. It's called Curs>r, and the basic graphics entice with a $100,000 prize. Working late, Kayla gives it a spin at an almost-empty diner and in the process, tips the lonely waitress by inadvertently programming her to eat broken glass. 

See, Curs>r is a very simple challenge: at 2AM, you find yourself in front of a screen that asks you to "choose or die." The choice in question is a Scylla and Charybdis of pain aimed not at the player, but someone close to them (physically or emotionally). Kayla enlists Isaac to help trace the location of game's signal and they begin to unravel a mystery that yes, involves evil computer code.

Choose or Die is a silly, silly film, but I found myself having a darn good time. Part of that may stem from my general enjoyment of techno-horror, be it cellular, landline, or social media-based. Choose or Die makes plenty of self-aware commentary about the differences (and our obsession with) the 1980s, seemingly NOT aware how of-THIS-time the film's own story and style feel. It's kind of charming!

Directed by first-timer Toby Meakins, Choose or Die has a fresh, young energy, something I love to see in my tech-based horror but many broader genre audiences seem to reject (Countdown and Unfriended spring to mind, but there are probably a dozen more in the last ten years). In the particular case of Choose or Die, I wonder how much the particular timing of its release fed into the movie's poor reception. It dropped the same weekend Netflix's sagging numbers were made public and its CEO suggested the future was to bring on the advertising. Suddenly, to the horror internet, it was also the worst movie of the year.

I'm not going to throw myself into traffic defending Choose or Die, but I found it to be exactly what I was looking for in a horror movie about a homicidal computer game. It moved quickly, centered itself on a likable lead, and managed to throw in a few surprises in its execution of rather ridiculous sequences. It's Black Mirror's Bandersnatch for the popcorn crowd, only actually fun to watch. 

What's not to enjoy?

High Points

Maybe I'm a softie or maybe I just have too many deep-rooted memories of watching fictional family die in flat Oregon Trail graphics, but I found the scene where Kayla has to navigate her mother through a black-and-screen 2D screen to escape invisible rats surprisingly creepy

Low Points

There are aspects of the third act showdown reveal that are surprising and intriguing, but there's something a little too style-over-substance in how the film treats a certain trio of characters that leaves the ending a little muddier than I would have liked. I'm all for keeping horror movies short and quick, but it feels like we're missing a little bit of explanation right when we could use a clearer setup

Lessons Learned

To be pregnant implies you're both stupid AND lazy

Never pick red

Hell is a karaoke brunch spot that makes you sing for a menu

Rent/Bury/Buy

Unlike the majority of the vocal horror community online, I really liked Choose or Die! It's 90 minutes of creative kills wisely weighted by an emotionally committed cast. I'll take it.