Prom Night, Prom Night, First Crown I Smash Tonight

Prom Night, for all its Leslie Nielsenness and Jamie Lee Curtis disco, is not a very good film. Its 1986 followup, however, has achieved a farily positive reputation, at least based on the cool cats in my movie nerd circle (most of whom, I assume, spent their senior prom home watching parts 3 & 4 while I spilled chicken all over my puffy sun orange gown while closing the night out with ‘N Sync’s Bye Bye Bye).

Time to put those nerds to the test. Otherwise, there will be wedgies.

Quick Plot: In 1957, slutty prom queen Mary Lou dies just before being crowned in front of her gawking classmates, among them her piece-on-the-side badboy lover (turned priest as an adult) and cuckolded rich boyfriend who unleashes a deadly stinkbomb and later, grows into a sexy bespectacled Michael Ironside.

Flashing forward thirty years, the Ironside is now the high school principal whose son is dating good girl Vicki, a big-haired, doe-eyed blond who for whatever reason (that somehow involves the desecration of a prom crown), ends up occasionally possessed by the flaky ghost of Mary Lou. Along the way, artistic puffy pants wearing students get strangled by prom capes, dopy fathers get kissed by their teenaged daughters, and hairspray is wildly abused by men and women with equal opportunity. The ‘80s were indeed a time for pioneers.

I thought I’d have more to say about Prom Night II, but really, it’s the kind of slightly self-aware ‘80s slasher that speaks for itself. High school students are stereotyped and killed in adorably silly styles. A good girl plays dirty in ways that would make Hannah Montana raise her eyebrows (and then take notes). The effects are gooey and gorgeous and at the end of the day, the nerds prevail.

High Points

Any film that culminates in an epic prom scene featuring crushed blue velvet AND lasers is automatically going to get at least four stars from my galaxy

Low Points

Honestly, there’s not much to NOT *like* about the movie, but I suppose one could just want the whole story to take a few steps further towards trashiness

Lessons Learned

Tutti Fruiti is a REALLY long song

Stink bombs + satin = bad times

The potato is rich in AM, FM, and carbohydrates

In order to avoid overloading your bedroom with its equestrian theme, balance those posters of stallions and carousel horses with classier fare, like Picasso’s Guernica

Rent/Bury/Buy

Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II is a darn good party film, one busting with ridiculous ‘80s style--and I’m not just talking about crimped hair and mismatched earrings. It’s a goofy bowl of punch that won’t come near scaring you, but it probably beats any high school dance you ever attended.