Brenda Walsh In Your Stocking: Christmas Caper

Christmas Caper marks the end of a powerful trilogy of films: made-for-TV Christmas fluff starring former Beverly Hills 90210 actresses. We've seen Kelly Taylor fall in love with the help of her talking dog and Donna Martin learn the true meaning of the holiday thanks to William Shatner and Gary Coleman. It's only right that we continue with Brenda Walsh's transformation from bitchy cat burglar to bored family gal.

 

Quick Plot: Brenda plays Kate, a thief-in-training who sports a dull look and black spandex as she steals a diamond before being betrayed by her partner. Before you can say Happiness Hotel, Kate is on the run with her angry Lindsay Lohan-in-five-years mug plastered on Most Wanted posters.

 

But where does a moody city gal run to? Conveniently enough, Kate has an older sister who's trapped in the Bahamas with her husband due to bad weather. With Christmas one week away and nobody in town wanting to care for two unruly brats, Kate heads back to her hometown to babysit and lay low until the next big score.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

Much like Beverly Hills without Brenda Walsh, Christmas Caper simply has no bite. Kate's history of kleptomania is played for mild laughs, but shouldn't SOMEONE acknowledge the fact that it might be a serious illness? Even if we look past the fact that this woman has been stealing since she was in puffy paint t-shirts, the character is supposed to be a big city bitch who sneers at the suburban way of life, yet all it takes is a few days of car pooling and lame milkshake dates with her high school sweetheart to melt her snobbery like the snow that inevitably falls on Christmas morning.

 

Say what you want about Shannon Doherty, but she's a capable actress with a little more natural presence than most of her teen bop peers. It makes Christmas Caper a little more watchable to the man-on-the-street, but far more boring to connoisseurs of moldy cheese. It's perfectly average and really, that's a terrible, terrible thing.

 

Lessons Learned

Life doesn’t work like having life just so (or something)

Small towns are often victim to plot points that involve unread faxes

 

Pantsing mall Santa never gets old, even when you're well past the years of Donna Martin Graduating

Token Slapstick

Not too horrid, although we do get a few snaps of Brenda, her nephew, and ex-partner having some physical difficulty learning the trade

 

Montage Mania

The first bucks the trend as we see Kate loiter around a mall to verbally convince townspeople to buy expensively stealable items. An expected "Let's all team up to decorate for the big holiday party!"  follows, but bonus points for ending on a clapper

 

Sass Factor

How I wish it came from Brenda. How I wish it existed in this flavorless piece of pie

 

Stocking Stuffer Or Stuffed With Coal?

Christmas Caper is a perfectly competent, perfectly forgettable comedy that's not really funny but unfortunately for people like me, also not so bad it's funny. I guess its appeal is reserved for those who loved the premise of The Ref but could've used less cussing or actual humor. In other words, your grandma if your grandma is lame. And yes, I just insulted your grandma. 

But only the uncool one.