Road Trip, Rogue Vampire Hunter Style

Going into Stake Land, there was a pile of reasons why my expectations were higher than Miley Cyrus at a backyard barbeque held at Cheech Marin’s casa. Amongst them:

-Director Jim Mickle and actor/cowriter Nick Damici’s previous outing, Mulberry Street, was an impressively refreshing low budget horror that used a standard premise--vampirish zombies chewing through New York City--and made it into something truly new, with a multi-aged cast and hauntingly effective portrait of post-9/11 Manhattan.

-The fact that it’s a post-apocalyptic survival tale, something that never fails to rock my world (even when directed by the humorless Michael Haneke)

-Proven history: The last time I watched a movie starring a Gossip Girl star for this site, the result was the beyond magnificent Drive-Thru

Quick Plot: As a plague of vampirism spreads through the world, human survivors get by with whatever tools they choose to trade, be it guns, shantytown politics, or crazy religious cult gang membership pent on worshipping monsters and raping nuns. Eking out existence in the south is Martin (Connor Paolo), an orphaned teenager who watched his parents and baby sibling get eaten and has since been learning under the tutelage of Mister (Damici), a badass vampire hunter who smokes and sleeps his way through the makeshift communities. Eventually, they collect a few more traveling teammates, including the aforementioned nun Sister (Kelly McGillis), the ex-soldier Willie (Sean Nelson) and the sunnily pregnant Belle (genre queen Danielle Harris).

So yes, this is a film that opens with a savage vampire zombie chewing on an infant. It’s actually a strong way to begin, since Stake Land is indeed a brutal and dark ride that digs into the worst of both monsters and mankind. Besides baby-eating (sorry; I know it’s not funny, but it also kind of is) there are not-so-subtle hints towards sexual slavery, domestic terrorism, and slain children, all of which is handled with the kind of weight they need.

Stake Land is essentially a road movie set after the apocalypse, a sort of genre take on Cormac McCarthy’s The Road with more, well, vampires. As is common for many a serious-minded horror film, it quickly reveals that it’s man rather than monster that plays the real villain in life. Like Mulberry Street, there’s some not-so-deeply buried social commentary that never overtakes the action. The government has given up, leaving some citizens to sympathetically form communities and others to turn world-wide disaster into their own hedonistic utopia. 

Most notable is Stake Land’s portrayal of religion, something that’s done with far more evenhandedness than you might expect. Yes, the major bad guys are racist and misogynist zealots (led by Broadway powerhouse Michael Cerveris) who force their hateful beliefs on the country through violence, but the film seems to strive for a balance with other nods that point to faith as a comfort. McGillis' Sister is a solid force, a woman who offers the flip side of faith as something that breeds kindness and sympathy. Too often films like these end up painting religion as the true evil of the world through broad and stereotypical strokes or on the flip side, end up as weird exercises in Christian entrapment (see I Am Legend). Stake Land wisely avoids either fatal misstep.

And really that's just one of many things I absolutely loved about this film. The performances are all quite good, with each actor lending the right balance of battle-torn weariness with a subtle ray of hope. Harris brightens up every scene she's in, while Damici offers outstanding presence with very little dialogue. As the everyman lead, Connor Paolo is surprisingly effective, never overplaying the role but maintaining the center as a boy coming of age with the right balance of innocence and maturity. While I would normally see character narration as unnecessary and distracting, it works well in Stake Land, never overstepping the action or telling us anything we already know. Would the film work without it? Most likely, but the lines lend a certain gravity that always reminds us what world we're now living (and dying) in. 

High Points

It’s a testament to Stake Land that the actual vampires are far less important than the rest of the narrative, but they’re still something to be acknowledged. Considering Mulberry Street’s main weakness was its iffy execution of its rat-like zombies, allow me to give a nod to the vampiric creations here, especially with their different styles based on time of infection

Low Points

While I didn’t need any backstory regarding what began the plague, it was a tad frustrating to realize that I had no idea how the virus even worked in terms of contagion

Lessons Learned

No man should begin his vampire hunting career without proper armor and headgear

When choosing one's vehicle for vampire hunting in the post-apocalypse, always consider the mechanics of the trunk

In the post-apocalypse, a round of square dancing is considered more appealing than a vanilla ice cream cone

Soap Box Special

You may, as I did, experience a mild shock when you realize that the 50something nun is played by Witness and Top Gun hottie Kelly McGillis. Yes, seeing an actress primarily known for her work three decades ago now looking all of her 54 years is initially surprising, but I've been even more astounded by how many Interwebbers are citing her look in this film as 'old and ugly.' First of all, she's playing a nun barely surviving in a post-apocalyptic world, meaning her Botox sessions and salon appointments have probably been canceled indefinitely. Secondly, her face is still quite stunning, offering plenty of warmth and depth considering she most often has to act without words. Most importantly, she looks absolutely fine for a woman in her 50s, though by 'fine' I mean 'what an actual woman in her 50s should look like.' And people wonder why actresses keep drinking virgins' blood at plastic surgeons' offices.

Unlike some people...

Rent/Buy/Buy

I’d been hearing about Stake Land for the past year or so, as it’s made quite a dent in the horror community. To me, the film most certainly deserves its indie gem reputation. It works as a monster movie, with plenty of effective action-heavy vampire attacks, and it absolutely soars as an apocalyptic road trip hybrid. The DVD includes two commentaries, while the Blu Ray and 2-disc Special Edition are loaded with a making-of, Q&A, and seven character prequels (also viewable on youtube). Though some of my fellow bloggers have been unimpressed, I found Stake Land to be well worth a viewing and even, if you’re feeling financially frisky or just plain wild, a blind buy. 

Settle down now.