Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Sex! Now that I have you attention, please please please Help a Baby Eater Out

Most of you horror blog readers are probably well acquainted with the wit and wonders of Mattsuzaka, the gatekeeper to one of the web's most enjoyable hangouts, Chuck Norris Ate My Baby (.blogspot.com). From Freddy's Friday Night Guest Party to some of the most memorable podcast voicemail in podistory, this strapping young fellow simply makes the Internet (and world) a better place to be.

What you might not know about Matt is that his fiancee is kickass. Kidney kickass. A few years back, his lady donated one of her own to help keep him the roundhouse kicking master we all know and adore. If that's not love, then WALL-E isn't adorable.

And WALL-E is eff you cee kaying adorable.

Now, here's where you--and you, you, and you--show your awesomeness. Matt & Liz are entered in a fancy dancy contest wherein they can win a dream wedding. All they need is a whole bunch of votes from YOU (and you, you, and you) to get to one last round of engaged couple throwdowns, where judges will ultimately select the recepients. Considering their so-romantic-it-makes-me-cry-slash-vomit love story, I believe their odds are good.

Here's how to help:

1. Go to HERE and register (it's free and you can uncheck any pesky box that dares to send you email).
2. Log in EVERY DAY for the next TWO WEEKS and vote here, picking (unless you want my wrath) Matt & Liz
3. Do this tomorrow.
4. Do this the next day.
5. See #2.
6. Rinse.
7. Wash.
8. Repeat.

I finally met Mr. Zaka this weekend at HorrorHound (photos hopefully on their way) and I can't tell you enough: this man is superb. He and his gal have been through a lot and if there's one couple that deserves to ride down the aisle on a winged unicorn wearing Swarovski crystals, it's them.


  1. You are such a doll, a deadly doll, but a doll nonetheless! Thank you so much, Emily...you totally didn't have to do that, but I do appreciate it. Almost as much as I appreciate that time you held the stall door closed for me!

  2. Aww, that is truly awesome! I have already registered and voted fot Matt and Liz and will continue to vote for them, and I really hope that they win :D

  3. Hey Matt, we gals have to look out for each other.

    Thanks Dorian!

  4. I just want to know - who the fuck is voting for David and Jillian? They look like total asshats and their story is bullshit. "Because I want to give Jillian the best honeymoon ever!!!" and "We would just love the opportunity to truly "live it up" one time. =)" just doesn't compare to Matt and Liz's story of sacrifice. How these two are in the lead (so far) is baffling. Go Matt and Liz!

  5. RIGHT??? I too would just love the opportunity to truly live it up, so why not just GIVE ME a huge wedding? I deserve it, right?

    Sure asshats. But give me a kidney first!

    Gah I will be extremely saddened if they don't win this. They're story makes ME cry, and I'm a terrible person!

  6. One of the asshats is a high school teacher. His kids are voting for him. You can see it in the comments section of their page. Side note: On registration the bottom box in RED is a certification that you are 18 years of age. I call total asshattery on those fuckers.