Monday, May 10, 2010

It's a Contest!

In recent times, the sad fact has dawned on me that as much as I squeeze all the juice possible out of my Netflix rentals and library membership, there are still a whole lot of films I’ve just never seen. Among them:
The Innocents
Psycho 2/3/4
Phantasm 2/3/4
Alien 3
Black Sabbath
Alone In the Dark (either one...they’re related, yes?)
The Eye
What Have You Done to Solange?
House By the Cemetery
Gates of Hell
Cat People (original)
Sugar Hill
Santa Sangre
Street Trash
Dead Birds
2000 Maniacs
The Howling (any of them)
Ichi the Killer
Black Scorpion
The Tenant
Cape Fear (original)
The Bird With the Crystal Plumage
Deep Red
Ghosts of Mars
Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance
I Stand Alone
Silent Running
Ms. 45
The Wolfman (original)
Invaders From Mars (original)
The Vanishing
The Changeling
The Poughkeepsie Tapes
Reanimator 2/3
Black Sunday
Blood Feast
Miller’s Crossing
Blood Simple
The Corpse Grinders
Let Sleeping Corpses Lie
Terror Train
The Thing (original)
Angel Heart
Dirty Harry
Death Wish (any of ‘em)
The Omega Man
Naked Lunch
The Abominable Dr. Phibes
Wrong Turn 2
The Terror of Tiny Town
Clearly my definition of “classic must-see movies” is not necessarily right.
Also, I’ve got an extra issue of the latest issue of Paracinema  (complete with my article on Who Can Kill a Child?  and Tom Shankland’s The Children ) burning a hole in my kitchen table and thus, I’ve decided to finally run a contest!* 
*Note that I’m normally terrible at these sorts of things.*
*Note that ‘these sorts of things’ basically refer to me walking to the post office during open hours and mailing something. We all have our talents (mine include badminton and ear wiggling) and sadly, weaknesses (cleaning, walking in heels) but I will vow to make this shipment happen!
So where do you come in? Here are the rules!

Take one of the films listed above and send me an email explaining why I should see it yesterday. Whet my appetite. Tease my demure Blu Ray player. Make me want to drop my fork of nachos to log onto Netflix, rearrange my queue, and wait patiently for its delivery in my mailbox. Write as much or little as you want, just say whatever you need to say to make me want to watch a movie I should probably have seen a long time ago. Send your email to by, I don’t know, June 9th, ‘cause that’s an easy date to remember because there’s a film with the same title. 
Now ideally, most of you have already pre-ordered your own non-contest issue of Paracinema (and if you haven’t, go here  to do so) so I’ll attempt to sweeten the pot with another surprise goodie stuffed inside a manila envelope. It may be slightly used movie from my personal collection or perhaps, a burned, probably only playable in your computer disc of something special. It may be an extra pair of socks. Not quite sure yet, but it will exist and find its way into the home of whoever gives me the best damn movie recommendation ever.
No pressure though. I've got a backup plan. 

Also, I promise to review ALL of the movies written about in the near future, so even if you don’t get a few of my Duane Reade receipts stuffed in an envelope, there still will be a little something in it for you, complete with your recommendation introducing my eventual review. 

Can't wait to hear your contributions!


  1. HAH! This post is almost as awesome as the contest itself! And I almost thought Silent Running was Cool Runnings when I was scanning the list. I was going to write why you are crazy for not experiencing this Doug E Doug classic!

  2. Ah, I am just about to drop a contest bomb too. You copy cat...stop reading my mind! I shall participate, and I shall win.

  3. You guys can win each others contests and swap copies of the mag ;-)

    That's a lie... I will win both contests!! HA HA!!

  4. Oh Christine, I wouldn't be alive today had I never seen Cool Runnings. So many times that final Olympic march to the slow clapping of Nordic snobs has saved me from some hard when John Candy died an all-too-early death.

    Matt: It's on! I am SO winning your contest. And then running another contest to give away what I win from yours. Maybe then--and only then--dear Christine will stand a chance.

  5. This is a great idea for a contest! I wish I had thought up it! A wonderful way to connect with you readers! Although, I might be embarrassed to post a list of films that I should have seen ages ago! (I am guilty of not having seen many "classic" films in many genres.

  6. Thanks shu! Hearing from some of the more quiet readers is definitely the best part. You have total permission to steal my idea for the future, especially as you'll instantly be humbling yourself by revealing some of those gaps in your film list.

    Really I'm just looking to judge others and make my own unseen film-viewing less offensive. So get on it!

  7. Can I win something for convincing you to not watch some of those? Seriously, no one should ever voluntarily watch Ghosts of Mars.

  8. "Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Stupid! You're so stupid!"

  9. That's quite an eclectic list! I suspect that whoever chooses to write about Riki-Oh or Necromantic will have an automatic advantage by virtue of the fact that they get to describe a head getting punched off or a woman making sex to a corpse in their write-ups, while the quiet terror of The Cat People or the cold building menace of Cape Fear are much harder to effectively champion. Subtlety suffers in the world of the quick sell.

    Good thing I enjoy a challenge.

  10. Well Eskie, considering I'm rarely one to resist a bad film (witness my viewing of Santa Claws and It's Alive), if you're able to successfully dissuade me from delving into bad moviehood, you most certainly deserve a medal.

    Heather: Supplies! Oh, and you've just given me full permission to quote UHF for the rest of the day. My coworkers thank you.

    Groundskeeper: That definitely gives it an edge. For about 6 months, my number 1 recommended movie of all time was Punisher: WAr Zone, simply because I couldn't not tell people "He punches a dude THROUGH the face!" so adding the necrophiliac twist probably means automatic win. You have your work cut out for you, but I look forward to what you come up with!

  11. This is the perfect contest for film buffs. I think I've seen only 2 or 3 movies on your list so I hope you're not sulking over your waiting room discs.

  12. Strike off phantasm 3/4 those are godawful!!

  13. There's no relation between the two "Alone in the Dark" movies.

  14. Solaris is Tarkovsy's or Sodersbergh's ?

  15. Ashlee: Don't you DARE account for that dreaded "Very Long Wait." Then I get really excited that the film is hard to get because it's great and end up with Blood Dolls.

    Tangerine: Good to hear, unless someone makes a case for it otherwise!

    Richard: That almost sounds like a challenge. I'm sure they have SOMETHING in common! See, now I want to watch a Uwe Boll movie. Crap!

    Sabman: I haven't seen either, but i assumed the Tarkovsky one is the version I'm supposed to be ashamed of.