Warm Fuzzy Feelings of Awards For Writing About Blood & Guts

It's awards season out in Hollywoodland, and while Precious and Mo'Nique prepare to tag team George Clooney and Vera Farmiga, we lil bloggers make nice and send out kind and heartfelt congrats to each other for jobs well done.


I am humbled like insecure pie to accept two pastel trophies from some very esteemed colleagues. Firstly, Sir B-Sol over at the well celebrated Vault of Horror has nominated me for this pretty 'n pink thingy:

Which I'd love to now share with a barrel of worthy blogs I read regularly (listed, by the way, in completely random order). This first serving includes celebrated sites already awarded (as far as I know) for their greatness. And since I and others like them, you should too, because peer pressure is the only way anything gets done on the playground:


Evil On Two Legs
Kindertrauma
Dollar Bin Horror
The Jaded Viewer
Planet of Terror
Monster Land
Freddy In Space
This Is Quiet Cool
Love Train For the Tenebrous Empire
In It For the Kills
Final Girl
Day of the Woman
Big Suck Loser
Chuck Norris Ate My Baby


Next, one of the hardest working bloggers in the non-business, Andre of the Horror Digest , has donned me with :

Which comes with a whole bunch of rules and stuff. Sheesh.

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award. (Check)

2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog. (Check)

3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award. (Check check )

4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting. (See below. Then checkity check)

5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers. (See below below. Then checkcheck)

6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate. (See next to below below.)

7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they have been nominated. (the one that involves the most work. Will eventually checkity checky myself or risk wrecking myself. Word)

So we'll start with #4, 7 random facts about my sordid personal life and preferences revealed for your sick and twisted pleasure:

1. My skills at Scattegories are fairly legendary, from the summer camp ribbon I won at the age of nine to the recent annihilation I committed against friends during New Year’s.

2. I firmly believe onions are the closest thing this world has to pure unadulterated evil.

3. For actual background data, I went to school for playwriting and English literature, worked as a dog worker post graduating, taught English to teenagers in Korea, adults in Russia, and now live and work as a true Bronx Warrior.

4. The first celebrities I ever met were two of the original Munchkins from The Wizard of Oz, who signed autographs at a local Blockbuster Video. The one and only time that store has ever done good for this world.

5. As the self-proclaimed clumsiest woman in the world, I can proudly admit to slipping on a banana peel, stepping on a pitchfork and having it hit me in the hat (I was thankfully wearing), running smack into parallel bars, and falling so much ice skating that I actually made the guy employed by the rink--whose sole job is to help people up--fall down himself while trying to give me a lift.

6. A former high school badminton player, I’ve spent years trying to convince doubtful others that this is indeed a competitive sport. 

7. Best/worst movie theatergoing experience of all time was seeing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls in Moscow. Due to some sort of controversy/distribution rights issue, the film could not be shown with its original audio track. However, the one English language cinema was showing the film anyway. I didn’t realize until I sat down with my headset that their way of appeasing the non-Russian-speaking audience was to have one native English speaker--in this case, a British woman--recorded reading the entire script. The poor dear sometimes sounded like she was out of breath and may have actually left the studio during one scene for a bathroom break. It was pretty awful, but in hindsight, probably far more entertaining than the film itself.

And now for 7 fellow blogs worthy of receiving such a lovely award and, as far as I know, having not received it as of yet:


1. Assorted Loaf (http://pickleloaf.blogspot.com/ ) 
In-depth, well-written, and truly interesting reviews from everybody's favorite Pickeloaf (I still can't decide if that sounds tasty or not, but since I'm hungry at the moment, the answer is yes). This is a man well-versed in cinema (particularly if it involves wrestling, and who knew so much of it did) but also blessed by the computer gods with a great ear and head for writing reviews worth reading.


2. Things That Don't Suck (http://thingthatdontsuck.blogspot.com/) 
Intelligent film discussion from Evil Dead Junkie himself, a fine writer with superb taste. Check out his fantastic explanations of his 10 best films of the decade, not just for his picks (which are damn solid, although I beg to differ with his number one) but also for the thoughtful discussions he gives in support.


3. Mermaid Heather (http://mermaidheather.blogspot.com/ ) 
This open-minded horror bloggess is nearing the fifth anniversary of her site, which is damn impressive when you consider the quality and care that goes into her work. I especially appreciate the variety of subjects she covers, watching everything from black and white classics to obscure modern titles.


4. The Lightning Bug's Lair (http://www.thelightningbugslair.com/ )
Ahh, T.L. Bugg, one of my brothers in arms when it comes to bad bad cinema just screaming for coverage. Somehow we often end up watching the same films, and it gives me great joy to stop by his lair (although as I say that, I suddenly consider the terrifying implications of fireflies too good for mere trees and cocoons) and get his witty and wonderful take. The man has conquered Fear of Clowns AND The Christmas That Almost Wasn't, and for that alone, he gets this award times ten rubber shoes.


5. Tower Farm Reviews (http://towerfarm.blogspot.com/ )
Perhaps the best humored pair of brothers ever to invade the interwebs, Jeremy and Billy provide pretty damn funny words of the kinds of movies I just can' t resist (and won't; after their review, I actually WANT to see Candyman 3). Especially great is their coverage of sequels, which never fails to amuse me...even when the films don't.


6. In Nervous Convulsion ( http://heavenztrash.blogspot.com/ ) 
Heavenz Trash is still a pretty new kid on the block, but his early entries are quite stellar and anyone who has friended him on Twitter or the Mondo Movie Boards knows that he's a fine and friendly resource for all things movie. Check out his perfectly pitched interview with Deadgirl star Jenny Spain to learn a thing or two about a rising actress, a haunting film, and a lesson by example on how to ask the right questions.


7. Mother Firefly's Faster Pussycats (http://fasterpussycats.blogspot.com/ )
Another blog I've only recently discovered, Mother Firefly's posts have a unique and lighthearted tone that simply put me in a good mood. Couple that with good writing and subject matter and you've got an underrated blog well worth the read.

So suck it Jason Reitman, and suck on wonderfully flavored Everlasting Gobbstoppers of joy, horror bloggers that I know about at the moment. I urge all my readers to play around like Law & Order: SVU style swingers on the fine sites listed above. I'm already in the process of bookmarking new ones I'm learning about via some of my awards' bestowers' pages, so I guess the moral is keep reading. Keep writing. Click on new links and let the sunshine in. Then give me a head with hair. Long, beautiful hair. Shining. Gleaming. Steaming. Flaxen Toni Braxton.


Something tells me I've been working on this post for far too long...