Sometimes you're simply too worn out by the world to stop and think about what to watch. Instead you queue up the first streaming app on your list, pop to the horror section, spot a few promising keywords ("abandoned prison," "Frank Whaley," and most importantly, "1 hour 25 minutes") and simply hit play.
Sometimes you are a fool.
I hate everyone and wish them much pain.
Insufferable Hank convinces his pals (by paying each of them $200, making him apparently RICHLY insufferable) to sneak into a nearby abandoned prison and gather some film footage. Because this baker's dozen batch of interchangeable friends are all functioning with a collective IQ of 99, they happily agree.
As you might guess, the abandoned prison is dark and large and haunted by something. Hank orders his friends to split up into pairs to explore, which helps us as the audience in that people start dying with efficiency.
You would think that the characters who last the longest might at least start to accumulate personality, but that's just silly. This is tone of the most disposable batches of characters in any horror movie I've ever seen and friends, I've seen a LOT of horror movies.
I don't normally watch any film from a place of hate. Sure, sometimes a slasher benefits from having an unlikable batch of victims so that the audience can take a bit of pleasure in their inevitable tragedy. But even then, we want them to be interesting.
Against the Night did not get that memo. There are something like nine people who go on Hank's journey. Aside from hearing the name "Rachel" a lot (as she frames the movie), not one of them registers. At one point, Rachel starts rattling off the rest of her pals: Brooke, Michelle, Sean, Dan, Nick...you get the idea. Even their NAMES are generic. Maybe the idea was to up the body count by having a larger-than-usual cast, but since the attack scenes are shot in darkness, what does it even matter?
Writer/director Brian Cavallaro has some good ideas. He mixes filming styles from standard narrative to handheld camera in a way that makes sense. The story eventually shows some surprises, but even one hour into an 85 minute movie is a LONG one hour. The payoff simply isn't worth it.
High Points
I won't spoil it, but the last act reveal upon reveal of Against the Night is a tad more interesting than you'd expect (considering the actual quality of storytelling on display)
Low Points
Part of the reason I figured I could take a gamble on Against the Night was that the trailer heavily featured Frank Whaley. Would it surprise you to know that he's barely in it?
Lessons Learned
Becoming an adult happens to the best of us
Believe it or not, you don't have to hang out with horrible people who film you having sex without your consent
Making fun of One Missed Call is fine for the average horror movie fan, but if your movie makes One Missed Call look like The Exorcist, it's probably not the best line of dialogue
Rent/Bury/Buy
In case you had not yet figured it out, I hated this movie. I can't imagine who it's for, other than the cast and crew's most forgiving relatives. If that happens to be you, find it on Peacock.
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