Sunday, January 2, 2011

Sunday Night Sap

When I was eight years old, I wrote my first (thus far, only) novel. It was called Over the Rainbow and it followed a pack of young siblings as they fought a gnome for his gold.

It was magnificent.
For a good deal of my life, it’s been my dream to be a writer. Silly idea when you think of it. All someone needs is a pen or foggy window and bam! Dream realized. But I suppose the idea of being published, of seeing my name (or some clever pseudonym) on the spine of a book I was proud of sitting on a store shelf just seemed like the pinnacle of what I could do.
Writing is my passion, something I’ve always known but have occasionally hid from. Despite spending years toiling on plays and essays in college and currently, putting appliances onto paper Monday to Friday, it wasn’t until the Deadly Doll’s House was built that my words found a genuine home.

On Wednesday morning, my blog disappeared. Some of you may have noticed, either by clicking on the usual link and finding a blank blogger page or through my Twitter freakouts and Facebook warnings. Clearly, whatever issue happened has been resolved but for about two days, I had to live with the fact that all the posts and comments made over the last (almost) two years had evaporated like a vampire on Buffy or Christian in Left Behind: The Movie.

There were shakes. Stomachaches. Lots of kitten cuddling and Google research. Two nights that involved awful dreams and mornings of baggy eyes. Then my Wednesday email opened up with comments and I breathed the biggest sigh of relief known to a 5‘1.5” woman.
The Deadly Doll’s House’s mini-vacation in limbo let me think an awful lot about blogging and what it meant to me and as we start a new year, I can tell you this: it means a lot. 
I realized this mostly when I started thinking of the worst case scenario, i.e., if was never restored. What would happen to those 300 or so posts, written on morning subway commutes and after-dinner evenings? It was actually a really easy answer: they would slowly be reposted, somewhere in between the new ones I would write and publish on a new Internet home.
Point is, I love this strange little phenomenon we all participate in known as blogging. I love how it has let me meet dozens of incredible creative folks from all over the world. I love that it’s opened up endless conversations about everything from the merits of dubbing to post-apocalyptic manners. That it’s let me read some of the best writing I’ve ever experienced, even if the majority of the authors are unpublished everymen (and of course, women) tap dancing on their laptops between office work and cooking dinner. I love that writing about film has let me fall completely in love with cinema, and that I almost feel like in some odd bestial way, it’s a mutually fulfilling relationship.

2010 has had some personal and professional highs and lows for me, but ultimately, I’m ending it feeling incredibly rewarded for having--and holding onto--this odd little environment of friends and film. Thank you--readers, writers, and movies--for being contributors to that, whether by creating your own content or responding to mine. It’s not something I take lightly. It is something I love. 
Pfff. All this mushiness is making me nauseous. Time to watch something terrible that involves entrails or doll rape.

Exes and ohs,



  1. !!!! beautiful words.

    Like I said before I am relieved to see Deadly Dolls alive and well. I think out of all my blogging buddies you my dear, remain the closest to my own tastes and style. You know this, and I know this---but does the world know this? Does the world know we were separated at birth and how strange it is that you have the same name as my sister?
    Doubtful. But they know now.

  2. The world needs to know these things little sister, for they are truly beautiful things to know!


  3. Glad to still have you around, ma'am. As I said the other day, in much fouler words, you make the blogland a better place.

  4. otis rampaging heterosexualityJanuary 3, 2011 at 2:45 AM

    Emily, admit it, the greatest thing you`ve ever encountered during your time as a blogger is something called "JERVAISE BROOKE HAMSTER" !!!, that bizarre, surreal, odd and incredibly strange entity is totally unique and should always be cherished for that reason.

  5. Thanks The (one and only) Mike!

    And sorry to disagree "Otis", but on a scale of greatest things, I don't see JBH registering. What can I say? Bigotry generally causes a loss of points.

  6. You're back! YAYYYYYY!

    Horror Blogger Karaoke in NY and getting the meet Emily LIVE AND IN PERSON was definitely one of the highlights of my year. So glad your blog is back and you'll be continuing to edjumicate us all throughout 2011!

    The Vicar

    PS--so what's the best way to back-up a blogger blog? :P

  7. I want more HBK! It was EPIC!

    As far as backing up, you can export your blog in xml format through blogspot's backend. I did that and just have the file on my hard drive, will probably redo once every few weeks or so. A friend recommended starting a wordpress blog and exporting the file directly there, just so you can dual post and always feel like you have a backup. That's alls I know!

  8. First off, really glad to see that the Cyberspace Goblins didn't get your blog. Secondly, you're right...there's an abundance of riches in blogging, as you have said. It's about passion and excitement! Most people might have caved in after having their blog eaten. But it sounds like you really evaluated the importance of writing and soldiered on. Good for you!

  9. Nice post, Emily. Over a year ago I had to pull my original blog down after I posted the name of some jerk who attacked me on the street. I know, that was stupid, but I was angry and not really thinking straight after I had him arrested. It was only after I posted his name that I did a google search on the guy and not only did my blog come up as the first hit, but I also saw he had outstanding arrest warrants in 5 states and was now living in my neighborhood. It was suggested I kill the blog- which I initially did, and I hated doing it. So after a couple of days I just got a new URL, name and a pseudonym. Voila! It really has provided me with a lot of pleasure these past two years and I've enjoyed communicating with other like you (!) very much.

    Keep it up- yours is one of my favorites.

  10. Thanks Dusty!

    John: That's so scary! Glad it worked out, and even gladder that you decided to restart.

  11. I wasn't worried for a second. Well...

    If you confirmed that blogger set out to destroy your blogoverse, it I would've wallslid but I am glad everything worked out. Makes me think back to your first post and me saying, 'Thank gawd! Someone has a brain about this movie!'

    Three cheers for brains and movies. And writing. For not, we'd both be in a ditch somewheres.

  12. Can you imagine how lame that ditch would be without movies OR brains? I shudder to think!

  13. otis rampaging heterosexualityJanuary 5, 2011 at 6:30 AM

    Emily, i wasn`t refering so much to "THE HAMSTERS" murderous homo-phobia i was more interested in your opinion of his incredibly strange, weird, odd, bizarre surrealism and the fact that essentially he is totally unfathomable, unclassifyable and completely impossible to catorgorize both as a hu-girl being or as any other kind of entity for that matter.

  14. otis rampaging heterosexualityJanuary 5, 2011 at 6:38 PM

    Er...Emily, i`m still waiting for your opinion darlin`.

  15. Sorry, I was about to research what a 'hu-girl being' was, but then I realized I didn't care that much.

  16. Glad to see the Dead Doll's House lives on :)

  17. Thanks! I'm officially declaring it a zombie blog now, and that somehow makes me even happier!

    Now the real question: where's my new CineCUltania?