Christmas With the Satanist Side of the Family

Are you aware of JUST how many cheap horror movies were made in the 1980s? 

Sure, you say. I was a video store kid! I've seen them all!

Unless you actively use tubi, I assure you, sir or madam, you have not.

Quick Plot: Like any smart low budget movie, we open with a remix of public domain holiday music. A group of ominous people clad in robes forms a sacrificial circle where toddler Matthew is led to the center. Cops stop the slaughter right as adult Tom wakes up in bed 40 years later.

This has been his annual Christmas Eve nightmare, but it doesn't stop his family's road trip. Into the station wagon goes Matthew, his chain-smoking father Henry, wife Kathy, teen daughter Erin, and bratty son Billy. Along their route, a pair of policemen stumble on a mysterious vagrant (possibly named Clarence) squatting in an abandoned hotel in the ghost town of Sutterville. The cars pass each other just long enough for the stranger to do some telekinetic ubering, detouring Tom's car to Sutterville as the cops take their prisoner into custody.

At the station, Clarence uses his powers to send a woman hanging up Christmas lights to her death. No one seems to be too bothered by this.

Meanwhile, Tom's family is not doing so well. Their car now broken down in an empty town, everyone gets a bit irritable. Henry worries about his son's soul (and his own heart problem), Kathy gets snappy, teen Erin is bored, and Billy is befriended by a creepy little girl we last saw push prologue Matthew into the satanic circle. Tom seems ready to snap, and that's before he watches a rattlesnake threaten his daughter only to turn into a rubber toy.

I had never heard of Family Reunion until I shuffled through some horror titles on Tubi. On one hand, I can see why: this isn't a particularly good movie, nor is it so memorably Microwave Massacre bad that it would land on a cult list of hidden gems. 

That being said, I had some fun with this. The early family scenes feel surprisingly genuine, which is especially interesting considering this is the sole credit for both child actors (Kaylin Cool and A.J. Woods). Writer/director Michael Hawes seems to also have limited output to this film and a related one, which is a bit of a shame. 

I'm not saying Family Reunion is a good film. It's not really even 'good' by micro-budget 1987 standards. The second half loses most of the momentum and the 90 minute runtime somehow feels like a typo. But it has an endearing energy about it that will make for a pretty satisfying low expectation watch, providing you have a certain softness for this era. 

High Points

It's not that I actually LIKED the Andrews family (young Billy spends the first half of Family Reunion aggressively trying to give his grandfather a heart attack) but I really did find their interactions weirdly charming 

Low Points

Chekhov's Law of Heart Conditions is pretty clear about foreshadowing, which makes it all the weirder that the elderly Henry simply disappears from the action halfway through the movie

Lessons Learned

All medical doctors can do is diagnose fevers

Bullets can't harm a good satanist, but fists sure can

Vagrants keep history alive

Rent/Bury/Buy

Family Reunion is the exact type of '80s horror movie you hope to discover on Tubi. Yes, that pretty much means exactly what you think. Enjoy!