But What If I Haven't Seen the First 665?

In continuing my quest to watch all the Children of the Corns I've thus far missed, I've started accumulating some details that tie the franchise together. Chief amongst them: car trouble.

Parts I, V, and now VI (excuse me: DCLXVI) kick off by stranding or temporarily stopping their would-be victims on the road. 

I promise there are more interesting things to be found in Isaac's Return, but that just seemed worth noting.

Quick Plot: Hannah is on a solo road trip to investigate the secret of her birth. Some 19 years earlier, she was adopted from a sleepy Nebraska town and is now eager to learn more about her cursed heritage. After uneasily picking up a religious man on the road, wild hallucinations cause her to run into a whole row of corn. The shifty policewoman on call sends her to the shiftier town doctor (Stacey Keach!), whose clinic is housing none other than a comatose messiah.

It's Isaac's Return!

Meanwhile, Hannah nearly finds herself in another accident when a truck tries to run her off the road. Don't worry, it's only her birth mother (Nancy Allen!) trying in vain to get her kid back to safety. Stubborn Hannah continues to ignore every red flag, even when they all seem to be on fire and wrapping her in knots. Part of that is due to the helpful hunkiness of Gabriel, a mysterious local who seems to be able to save Hannah whenever she needs it. 

Part 6(66) is refreshing in following up the original film with, cue the title: Isaac's Return. John Franklin's slithery cult leader was always a highlight, so continuing his story, in theory, is enticing. Unfortunately, there's almost too much story here. All-stars Allen and Keach feel wasted, while Hannah's actions are so dumb that it's hard to stay invested in her fate. Worst of all, we're lacking a key element of this entire franchise's title: 

I know I complained a bit about the lackluster main villain in Part V, but at least he was underage! Isaac's Return seems to have forgotten that the most haunting and interesting thing about Children of the Corn is that these are, you know, children. Children doing horrific things to adults! That's what we're here for!

But I guess we'll have to settle for Stacey Keach going weird.

High Points

Director Kari Skogland might not have had the same affection for the actual Children of the Corn franchise that some of us weirdos do, but she does have a great eye, staging some sequences in quite an effective and unique way

Low Points

No shade to actress Natalie Ramsey (doing what she can with very little), but I can't remember seeing a dumber lead character. Her own MOTHER is telling her to leave town, and yet, after being near axe-murdered and drugged, she still hangs around. There's a line

Lessons Learned

Never loan anything to Matt

After narrowly escaping abduction and human sacrifice, the natural celebration is a cold hose shower and unprotected barn sex

Ladies, please remember that you are under no obligation to carry an antichrist to term

Rent/Bury/Buy

Obviously if you're a CotC completist like me, you're going to watch Part 666 and get something out of it. The bigger question is whether this film stands on its own outside the franchise. On that note, I'd reluctantly say not quite. For a straight-to-video late '90s horror, it's about average, but anything that makes it more is really its own relation to the series.