Tongue-Tied

What's a great way to get horror fans to watch your movie? Release an American remake that makes viewers mad, then gets good reviews, then makes you realize that you'll inevitably have to watch both. 

We are simple folk. 

Quick Plot: Louise and Bjorn are a Danish couple with a daughter named Agnes. While on a group vacation to Italy, they hit it off with a similarly aged family from Holland: Patrick the doctor, Karin his wife, and Abel, their pleasant son who was born without a tongue. 

Back home in their tight apartment, loaded with the kinds of schedule items any young couple with a child have, Bjorn clearly feels a little disconnected. He's thrilled when Patrick sends a postcard inviting the family to spend a few days in their country estate. Fresh air and good company, what could possibly go wrong?

Since this movie is streaming on Shudder, obviously, quite a bit. 

Louise is quickly unsettled. Patrick dismisses her vegetarianism (well, pescetarianism) by pressuring her to eat some pork. He plays music too loud, drinks and drives, doesn't respect boundaries, and tricks Bjorn into paying for dinner that was supposed to be a treat. When Louise discovers Agnes sleeping in a nude Patrick and Karin's bed, it's the last straw. The family decides to leave, only to return immediately when Agnes's beloved stuffed animal goes missing. Once confronted with Patrick and Karin's apologies, how can they possibly be rude guests and still abandon their hosts?

To say much more about Speak No Evil would be a spoiler, though any savvy horror viewer can probably piece together a few more developments. Things get awkward, then dangerous, then rather shockingly dark in a pretty brilliant way that I haven't quite seen before. 

There are those who hate to see fingernails ripped off onscreen or any pain directed at Achilles heels. For a civilized audience, what's scarier? Being perceived as being rude. 

Speak No Evil is a horror movie about manners, and a pretty brilliant one at that. Louise is ready to call out Patrick and Karin for some of their rudeness, but as soon as she's confronted with her mistake, she surrenders all agency. Bjorn is clearly as flattered by Patrick's attention as he is embarrassed by Louise raising tension. It's the awkwardness that damns our characters, and while it's easy to scream at them from our couches, it's also one of the most strangely identifiable horror movie scenarios I've ever seen. 

High Points

I wish I could say so much more about everyone's performance, but I really do hate to give away too much. All four leads are simply perfect.

Low Points

I don't know that Speak No Evil is a perfect film, but honestly, I can't think of a single misstep it makes. Every action feels like a deliberate drive towards the conclusion. I have nothing negative to say.

Lessons Learned

When traveling abroad, you don't have to become fluent in the country's language, but at least learn the word that identifies your child's beloved stuffed animal

Mermaids represent Denmark well (though they're also small and disappointing)

Holland is a cheese country

Rent/Bury/Buy

I was satisfied by Speak No Evil when I finished it this morning, and now, 8 hours later as I sat down to write about it, I realized it's, well, kind of perfect? This isn't the scariest film of its year or even most shocking. It's just GOOD. The story is something that is all too easy to understand, and yet, one that I haven't quite seen told this way (or this well) in many years of genre watching. Find it on Shudder.