The Curse of the Shortening

Thwarted, once again. 

Let me tell you folks, I had some grand big but-not-in-a-vertical-way plans for this month, yet once again, the hustle and bustle of the real world (minus Puck) reared its head to complicate my February coverage.

Also, there was a kitten.

No, concerned Animal Hoarders viewers with the call-in number on speed dial, I did not bring this adorable little feline into the already crowded 4-cats, 2-people apartment I call home. But I did find this little fella squatting in my apartment building hallway on a cold winter's night, which led to a few days of converting my bathroom into a highly secure foster home undetectable to the rest of the brood. Perhaps it was fitting that my real-life February would be crashed by a tiny yet mighty creature. But it was still a tad inconvenient.

Also, I won't lie (mostly for fear of being karmically repaid/punished in the style of last year's most terrifying February entry, Roberto Benigni's Pinocchio): I like the Olympics. A. Lot.

Sochi strays, opening pomp, Bob Costas' eyeballs bravely fighting a losing battle to that smarmy and sneaky Matt Lauer and his presumed conjunctivitis planting, and most of all, A TERRIFYINGLY ICY RUSSIAN PRODIGY DOUBLE AXELING WITHOUT IRONY TO THE THEME FROM SCHINDLER'S LIST.

Not to mention the glory of Pairs fashion, shockingly outdoing the typically Vogue: Slovakia caliber of Ice Dancing dresses.

Anyway, my point is that I just didn't get to go the distance I was hoping for this month, but that's what fellow bloggers are for!  Thankfully, good pal Elwood Jones of From the Depths of DVD Hell picked up some slack with a few Shortening-minded reviews. Check 'em out!

Orphan
Curse of Chucky
Piranha 3DD
The Brood

Want more? Head on yonder to Pearce's Horror Movie Reviews for his thoughts on one of the hallmarks of '80s Shortenings, Ghoulies. Because you can never have too much of a little thing!

As always, we'll be back shortly with some less specially small tales of horror. Until then, stand tall!