Thursday, November 22, 2012

A Very Dead Doll's House Thanksgiving

Like most Americans, I used to consider Thanksgiving something of a filler holiday. Sandwiched like leftover turkey breast between the giddy thrills of Halloween and the glitzy glam of Christmas, a historical Thursday devoted to a food that never struck my fancy and brushed-over happy Native American history just felt like a lucky three-day vacation. Sure, the college years made it something of a tentpole (and a great chance to see who got fat by visiting the hometown bars) but the actual importance of the day never hit me until quite recently.

For various reasons, the fourth Thursday in November has become rather special to me. While the virtually endless stream of alcohol and pie certainly has something to do with it, there’s also the whole sense of having plenty to be grateful for, and better yet, being surrounded by people I love while doing so. Also, endless stream of alcohol and pie.

So in honor of a day now reserved for unlucky turkeys and Godzilla-esque balloon animals threatening Manhattan with every floating step, I give you an alphabetized list of some of the things that make me thankful on this ThanksKilling Day:

A for avocados, I eat them right off the knife

B is for Branan, he's my roommate/the love of my life

C is for conventions, where Internet friends mingle and frolic

D stands for dolls, even if they've made me something of an alcoholic

E recalls Endy Chavez, a man who almost brought the Mets to the World Series

F celebrates cats, because I do so love the feline species

G for George RR Martin's Game of Thrones, so addictive and imperial

H is for Honey Nut Shredded Wheat, my ultimate breakfast cereal

I is for Inwood, my new hood and home

J because I love Jeopardy!, even if it's hosted by a cruel Canadian gnome

K stands for killer klowns, beds, refrigerators, and all the villains of horror fun

L for public libraries. Take advantage of them if you’re not dumb

M can represent both my mom and dad

N is for nachos because when I eat them, I can't be sad

O stands for Ommegang beer, my favorite brewer of glee

P is for podcasting, where I can speak and listen merrily

Q stands for queues of the Netflix variety

R represents you my readers, a most awesome society

S marks my siblings of which there are three

T would be Thanksgiving, the day that I drink with revelry 

U because the unicorn in Cabin In the Woods brought me to tears

V signifies ventriloquist's dummies. Hey, we all need something to fear

W marks The Wizard of Oz,a film near and dear to my heart

X for Xander Harris, Buffy's best pal always loyal and stalwart

Y will be Yoda, my favorite fictional creature in the movies

Z for zucchini, shooting health and flavor out like an uzi

Okay, so the last one was a tad weird, but that's what I've got. Happy Thanksgiving one and all!


  1. Happy Thanksgiving! And props for including the often-overlooked Xander Harris. He truly is "the Zeppo".

  2. Emily, Avocado is very nice with currants.

  3. Nachos are awesome! ...Although I'm a pussy, because I ignore the vegetables and meat, (and sometimes even the cheese) and only have doritos with salsa! haha!

    As for what I'm thankful for, it's that I stopped myself from having a Bill Rebane film marathon! (at least for now...)

  4. Kurt: Possibly the most important Scoobie of all!

    Eddie: Avocado is nice with anything

    Chris: Doritos with salsa are not nachos. I don't know what kind of backward thinking you've got going on south of the equator, but it just ain't right!

  5. No Emily it isn`t, thats the specific point i was making, Avocado is loathsome and odious by itself or with anything except currants, they`re the ONLY thing that it goes good with.

  6. Yes, my way of nachos is very wrong. I am entirely to blame. *watches The Hitcher and It's Alive remakes as punishment*

  7. Your avocado is my onion, Eddie.

    Aw Chris. Normally I'd never subject someone to those films, but these are NACHOS we're talking about. Suffer through and learn a lesson.

  8. So you like onions with currants ! ?.