Monday, October 5, 2009

This Land Is Your Land, This Land Is Zombieland

Anybody notice that sunny glow shining through the Monday blues? Was it a lingering effect from the full harvest moon of Sunday night? The crispy bite of autumn in the air? Or maybe, just maybe, it was the musty smell of crinkled $10 bills and stoic scent of credit card swipes mixed with the buttery aroma of movie theater popcorn.
In case you hadn’t heard, Zombieland premiered and results were good. Not quite Dawn of the Dead ’09 taking a bite out of zombie Jesus in Passion of the Christ good, but $25 million in October is good news for original horror humor, especially following the disappointing opening of the R-Rated Jennifer’s Body. 

Especially because, in case you haven’t heard the movie is pretty damn wonderful. So wonderful and nearly universally approved (89% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes !) that rather than do a traditional Doll’s House style review and risk echoing the herd or revealing spoilers, I figured I’d just throw out a few recommendations for who to see it when you see it again (because you know you will) and how to convince them to do so:
-Your children, because it reinforces the importance of wearing a seatbelt

-Your out-of-touch uncle because he’ll finally understand the difference between Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus
-Your sister, because the film heavily feature a close and sweet relationship between two feisty sibs

-Your Ultimate Edition DVD set of Dawn of the Dead so that you can fold the box and make it smile at the very subtle (possibly produced by my own hopes) soundtrack homage during Zombieland’s trash-the-wampum store scene
-Your mother, because you love her and want to see her happy
-Your clown-fearing cousin, because it’s time to feel empowered

-Your Showgirls enthusiast aunt because she’s never seen tassel turns until she’s seen them in undead slow motion
-Anyone you know, because everyone else is doing it and people don’t like to feel left out
You get the point. If there was one low point to first time filmmaker/my new hero Ruben Fleischer’s zomcom, it’d be that a gal could always use more zombie kills hinted at so wonderfully in the terrifically macabre opening. And Emma Stone’s hair looks way too shiny in a world where deep conditioning has taken a backseat to other priorities. High points? Woody Harrelson doing what he does best, the use of a Crazy Mouse roller coaster, constructive lessons that read like a live action reenactment of Max Brooks’ The Zombie Survival Guide, and one of the best extended cameos ever to included on camera.
Do yourself a favor and throw a few bucks to a good cause. See Zombieland now before everyone and their great grandfather spills the celebrity guest star and/or starts to rattle off Jessie Eisenberg’s rules as if they’ve just discovered the secret to life, which of course, you as a horror enthusiast have known all along. Whatever your reasons, just have fun.

And of course, be sure to limber up.


  1. "And of course, be sure to limber up."

    "I don't believe in it. Every see a lion limber up before taking off after that elk? I didn't think so."

  2. Yeah, as always, it makes me realize how dead I'd be in the event of a Zompacalypse.

    I'm the elk.

  3. Actually, I'm the ELK, for all intents and purposes and because my parents apprently have a cruel streak.

    Also, Anaconda is most definitely rated PG-13 and not R. I really want to write an angry letter, NO ONE could check this one little tiny bit of information?

  4. That makes me incredibly angry. Where was the script supervisor? Now I'll never think of the glee that was Zombieland without that addendum. It's really not that hard to hop on IMDB before filming and substitute any other Rated R pic in its place. They even had the choice between Scream 2 and Starship Troopers at their disposal!

  5. I agree my dear. This is why I should be a script supervisor. I missed my calling.

  6. That's defeatist attitude. You're never too old to start a new career.

  7. Figures, I try to be funny and I misspell something. And I agree with Emily, never too late to do something you want to do.

  8. Still funny. And I'm still dead in the event of a zombie rising. Question now: do you, in the words of John Leguizamo's Land of the Dead character Cholo, want to know how the other half lives?