At Least We Don't Have to Study

 

Sometimes you just need some zombies. It's just life.

Quick Plot: Sloane is having a rough December morning. Her butter is hard, her father abusive, and her suicide note still needs one more draft. It's almost a relief when fast zombies show up to sprint through her small Canadian town.

She manages to make it to her school where a few classmates have found safety. There's some cafeteria food, running water, and windows that are fairly easy to secure. Also, depression and the justifiable dread that life is short.

Based on Courtney Summers' 2012 novel, This Is Not a Test is written and directed by Adam MacDonald, the prolific creator of Slasher who demonstrated a great understanding of teenage angst in Pyewacket. On paper, this movie offers a LOT: the charming Olivia Holt in the lead, a nostalgic 1998 setting, and a good old fashioned simple zombie story that can always serve as a solid background.

So why is This Is Not a Test so...blah?

It starts with the timeline. A December date is great for giving us some sad snow and tonally conflicting cheery holiday decorations, but This Is Not a Test barely acknowledges it. The kids wisely keep the lights off in their school to not call attention to their hiding space, but this also means the film's coloring is unbearably, glumly gray. 

The young actors try, but they're not served well by a script that can't seem to decide who any of them really are. Early ringleader Cary shows some shifty morality in the beginning, butting heads with a town mother in a way that makes for the film's most interesting conflict. But that's done before Act 2, and Cary seems to spend the rest of the movie in the background before making a grand but confusing choice in the finale. 

The rest of the kids aren't given much more. Olivia Holt feels miscast as the shy, suicidal Sloane. There is some complexity in the relationships between the kids (a sibling pair, some romance, the addition of a teacher to really twist things around) but there just isn't any real development between them. I'm guessing the novel had more heft that the film kind of assumes without providing. It's just an extreme lack of anything definitive to give a perfectly fine group of young actors.

I didn't necessarily dislike This Is Not a Test. It held my attention, but by the end, I felt so disappointed by what I didn't get, especially considering the talent here.

High Points

While not groundbreaking, the zombie action is generally handled quite well (especially when you've seen as many low budget genre movies as I have). There are even some interesting ideas about how they seem to be evolving in 'napping' to wait out their prey

Low Points
I've said it before and I'll most certainly say it again: I hate blood spatter on a camera. All it does is call attention to the fact that you're watching a movie and the director thought this was cool

Lessons Learned

When you're smart you don't have to cheat on a test

Just because you're no longer someone's teacher doesn't mean you should instantly comment on how pretty she is

You can always find extra clothes in the drama department

Rent/Bury/Buy

This Is Not a Test is a slightly better-than-average zombie movie, but that's in part because there are a LOT of very cheaply made zombie movies. It will certainly scratch that very particular undead itch that most horror fans experience every few months, but once you sit back to think about the film, it dwindles. Find it on Shudder if you're curious.