Speak No More Evil

 

It’s been a while since we’ve done a good ol’ compare and contrast. While I generally find “the original is better than the remake!” arguments dull, I also find the very idea of a talented filmmaker re-adapting very new material for an English-speaking audience usually has SOMETHING to say about the general perception of what a studio or artist thinks about its target.

So here we are. Two years between films, one month between my own review, we’re speaking no more evil.

Quick Plot: Basically, for about 65 minutes, 2024’s Speak No Evil follows the exact same beats as, you know, Speak No Evil. A somewhat uptight couple (Louise and Ben Dalton) with a daughter named Agnes and her beloved stuffed bunny befriend a pair of free spirits (Paddy and Ciara) and their tongueless son while on vacation. A few months later, Louise and Ben visit Paddy and Ciara at their secluded country estate. Tensions rise, violence ensues. 

Having watched the original Speak No Evil so recently, it’s impossible for me to review this Americanized version without directly referencing it. If you haven’t seen either film, the easy boil down is that the 2022 film is darker, sharper, and yes, better. The 2024 version is perfectly adequate as a standalone horror film, particularly as it’s stacked with several excellent actors doing very good work. But the stark differences in the third act are almost The Vanishing-levels of silliness. 

So let’s spoil.

Both.

Before we get to the major change, it’s worth noting that there are a few character differences that actually work well for James Watkins’ adaptation. Louise and Ben are expats who came to London for Ben’s job offer that fell apart. They have money, but no real sense of home. Louise has been so detached that she started a texting flirtation with a dad from Agnes’s school, driving an even bigger wedge in her fragile marriage. Sex is monthly at best. 

Which, oddly enough, leads us to one of the first real changes in this version that seems to have been made deliberately and does NOT work. In the original film, Louise and Bjorn’s first real discomfort with their hosts comes after they find their daughter sleeping in a nude Patrick and Karin’s bed. It’s perfectly reasonable that this would be the thing to finally drive them out of their perfect guest facade, but the reason WHY Agnes ended up there is key: she knocked and knocked on her parents’ door, but they were busy having sex. It’s clear that the guilt and embarrassment over this is what keeps Louise somewhat humbled.

No such dynamics happen here, as our Americans have to feel a bit more likable. As in the original, they almost make their exit but return when Agnes realizes she’s left her stuffed bunny behind.  Some sense of normalcy is restored, until Paddy’s treatment of Ant becomes intolerable. The next big change is one that KIND of makes sense, but also leads to a very different movie. 

Big spoilers (in case you needed a fourth warning): in both films, the host couple is revealed to be a pair of serial killers who lure small families in, murder the parents, and steal the child, trading that last bit with each cycle. In Christian Tafdrup’s film, Bjorn discovers this by finding the boy (Abel in that version) drowned. He quietly tries to pack his family and leave without telling them what’s going on, only to be caught on the way out. Without having communicated his discovery to Louise, she’s easy prey. Agnes’s tongue is cut out, and Louise and Bjorn accept their fate: death by stoning, all because they couldn’t be rude. 

It’s one of the darkest endings I’ve seen in some time, but it’s also pretty perfect. Speak No Evil is a cruel film, yet it all adds up. Everything this family does (and neglects to do) leads them to this. 

James Watkins’ version is…different. It’s Ant who tells (well, shows and mimes) his family’s secret to Agnes, who then goes and tells her parents, who then spend a fair amount of time figuring out how to excuse themselves from being murdered. This leads to the last act being pure Home Alone siege.

It’s a choice.  

On one hand, I appreciate an only-two-years-later remake reimagining its source material. Otherwise, what’s the point? 2022’s Speak No Evil is mostly in English, so you can’t even make the “Americans don’t like to read” argument. But apparently, if you’re James Watkins, you can make some other “Americans are” arguments. 

Here’s an excerpt from a Deadline interview with the director:

American culture is very, whether it’s your frontier mentality or your can-do culture, I didn’t believe my characters would be as quiescent [laughs]. I didn’t believe that they would, confronted with mortal danger and their child in mortal danger, at least try to run, hide or do something. Christian’s version is a brilliant satire on Danish compliance, but as soon as I changed it to a different culture, different things apply. 

Sure? 

As an American, my personal opinion here is that James Watkins is giving us far too much credit. The idea that these outsiders could, ultimately rather easily, murder three experienced murderers (well, two and one accomplice) and escape relatively unharmed seems pretty darn optimistic, particularly from the same man behind Eden Lake.  

It’s kind of, well, dumb. And maybe even a bit insulting? There is certainly something to be said with just how the violence unrolls, with Mackenzie Davis’s Louise emerging as the real alpha. The toxic bromance of Scoot McNairy being blinded by the sheer magnetism of James McAvoy’s masculine energy zooms in even further on the dynamics in Tafdrup’s film (or maybe that’s because the only other film I’ve seen McNairy in is Nightbitch, where his husband character plays a similarly shrinking role). Watkins even tosses in one line that casts Aisling Franciosi’s Ciara into a completely different light that opens up a pile of moral questions the film doesn’t have time to answer. 

2024’s Speak No Evil has interesting ideas, a game cast, and strong filmmaking. Even with all of that, things simply don’t add up to something anywhere nearly as starkly satisfying as its predecessor. 

High Points

Enough can’t be said about the performances, all of which work off each other to create clear relationships ready to explode

Low Points

Sure, the Daltons don’t immediately transform into trained assassins, but their victory still feels silly

Lessons Learned

The internet has made us all very stressy

When you’re in the country, you’re going to find old stains

It’s okay to think things, but you’re not supposed to say them

Rent/Bury/Buy

Here’s the thing: many genre fans will likely have a good time with 2024’s Speak No Evil if that’s how they start, and backtracking to the 2022 film may make that pack an even bigger punch. At this point, anyone approaching either film probably knows the big twist, so if you’ve read this far without watching either (which I told you several times not to do), then why not start with the lighter course to make the main that much better? The new film is now streaming on Peacock, with the original on Shudder.

Black Mirror Revisit: Shut Up & Dance

Season 3, Episode 3: Shut Up & Dance

When I put together my incredibly non-definitive ranking of Black Mirror episodes, Shut Up and Dance came up dead last. I clearly had STRONG feeling on season 3's meanest entry, but I was curious to see if time would be kinder to it. 

The Talent: Shut Up and Dance is written by Black Mirror creator Charlie Brooker and Will Bridges, the same team who would pen Season 6's celebrated USS Callister. Director James Watkins comes with some good modern horror pedigree, having made the strong (if, whaddya know, mean) Eden Lake and the much kinder, effectively spooky The Woman In Black. 

The Setup: Kenny seems like your average British teenager, working in a fast food joint and constantly battling her bratty sister for his laptop so he can lock his door and masturbate in peace. After cleaning his computer with the first antivirus software that comes up in the search results, Kenny discovers he's provided full camera access to a mysterious all-knowing entity that is now threatening to release the video to his entire contacts list.

Most teenage boys would be scared, but Kenny is absolutely terrified and immediately agrees to to carry out his blackmailers' demands. The tasks seem easy enough at first: pick up a cake, work with a fellow blackmailee (Game of Thrones' Jerome Flynn) to rob a bank and, well, things escalate. 

The Ending: After being forced to fight another man to the death, Kenny assumes he's free as initially promised. Broken and carrying a bag of stolen cash, he begins stumbling home only for his mother to call in tears. A montage shows our other shamed men and women discovering the secrets they fought so hard to hide have been released upon the world. 

Kenny, you see, wasn't just jerking off to common porn. While we (thankfully) don't get the details, his mother's cries of "kids!" is enough, especially when we think back to the small moment he shared with a little girl earlier in the episode. What seemed like a quick shot to lend our protagonist charm is reframed as something menacing and awful.

The Theme: But see, here's why I hated Shut Up and Dance so much upon my first viewing: what's the point? People have done terrible things ranging in their measure of sin. Jerome Flynn sought out a prostitute, something hardly worth true damnation (though I like to think it was the detail that he was trying to haggle on the pricing that put him on the list). Nobody should be sad that a CEO's racist emails are leaked, and Kenny's proclivities would probably have led to the abuse of a minor, but seeing these characters put through a marathon of high anxiety tasks is just, well, unpleasant.

I suppose Brooker and Bridges' moral is that what's done is done. No amount of bicycling or sponge cake can erase your sins, and if you put any of your worst instincts out into the digital world, they will indeed come back to haunt you. 

The Verdict: Shut Up and Dance is not a bad episode of television. It's incredibly well-acted, and busting with tension that director Watkins somehow amplifies when he brings in comedy. On second viewing, I can be a little less mad at the rug pull reveal. Yes, it still feels like a cruel trick to pull on its audience, but I can admire how well it plays its hand. 

Technology Tip

Don't ever use the internet in any way shape or form to do anything that you wouldn't feel comfortable being shown to everyone you know. Easy, right?

The Black Mirror Grade

Cruelty Scale: 10/10

Quality Scale: 7/10

Enjoyment Scale: 3/10

The Youth of Amer--er, England

Let's start with the obvious: Eden Lake is not Eden Log.

However, because they sounded the same and word on the Internet Super Highway was that one was good and one was not, I, being someone unable to tell similar things apart (don't even try to tell me the difference between Grimm and Once Upon a Time or Chicago Hope and ER; I refuse to care), never wanted to risk watching the one that was not good. There are enough well-enough-regarded horror films out there in the world that I can surrender one without trying.

Well, upon a little random internet investigation (aka, I read something somewhere and forgot where so I can't give credit where it might have been due), I learned that Eden LAKE (not Log) happens to involve violent teenagers. Teenagers CAN be grouped in the 'darned kids' category that I forever celebrate, particularly in this snow-covered month party of vertically challenged villains. 

So I figured, why not take a dip?

One more thing!

To add to the confusion, Eden LOG is directed by a man named Frank Vestiel, whose credits include being the assistand director on the French film Ils (aka Them), which just so happens to also be about punk kids tormenting a couple. Eden Lake, which is ABOUT punk kids tormenting a couple, is directed by James Watkins of The Woman In Black 

(which is not at all about punk kids tormenting a couple, but does have a lot of monkey dolls)

Got that?

Quick Plot: Steve (long-torsoed darling Michael Fassbender) is whisking his girlfriend Kelly away for a weekend with the aim of proposing. He's expecting to take her to the titular Eden Lake region for a peaceful swim and quaint pub dinners at warm bed and breakfasts. 

Instead, they find rude bartenders, thin motel walls, bad parking, and worst of all, lots of teenagers.

Here's the thing: teenagers are terrifying creatures. 

Not all of them. I'm sure there are plenty of ninth graders who would happily help an elderly lady cross the street without picking her pocket. Individual teenagers are typically just fine. But take that nice, non-pocket-picking fifteen-year-old and stick him with five of his peers, let's say just TWO of whom WOULD pick that pocket, and I guarantee he'll be emptying her savings account and eating every last one of her hard candies while throwing the wrappers on her floor. 

Peer pressure, man. 

Before you can start smoking like the cool kids, Steve and Jenny have caught the shifty eyes of a gaggle of bratty teens and their barking rottweiler. Ever the alpha male, Steve just can't seem to walk away from their antics, leading to slashed tires, stolen bags, stabbed dogs, and, you know, being hunted and tortured.

Looks like Steve should have gone the old fashioned route and just proposed via jumbo-tron, where nothing can possibly go wrong.

Eden Lake is a well-made and effective horror film, though not necessarily that special of one. Similar in both style and quality to the remake of The Last House On the Left, it gives us an easily identifiable situation laden with the kind of small choices that lead to an amped up cat-and-mouse hunt covered in blood, flames, and, well, poop.

This IS the same man who wrote The Descent 2: The Poopening, after all.

Made right in the midst of the early 21st century torture boom, Eden Lake doesn't shy away from its horrors, nor does it exploit them where unnecessary. We see the effects of violence more than the acts itself, and since the tools used all have some wear themselves (rusted barbed wire, all-purpose box cutters), that's horrifying enough. Yes, terrible things happen, but director Watkins is wise in where and when he chooses to pull the camera away, focusing more on a safe character's reactions to a boy screaming than the brutal act that kills him.

This isn't a 'light' film by any means: terrible things happen to the young and old, guilty and innocent. There's certainly a heavy dose of nihilism that may sour or enhance the experience, viewer taste dependent. The fact that Watkins followed this outing up with the very strong, very different The Woman In Black makes me even more intrigued to see how he'll develop in the genre.

High Points

Apparently, Eden Lake drew some criticism for being perceived as 'classist' in showing the lower working class as villains relishing in the torture of yuppies. I don't think that's its intent in any way, though I did feel one of the film's subtle strengths is how it suggests a sort of generational culture of abuse. It's not that the English poor are prone to violence, but that the parents (who we casually meet at different moments in the film) continue the cycle of either punishing their kids too harshly (as noted when we see a mother slap her young son in public at a restaurant) or ignoring the weight of their misbehavior (as the waitress brushes off Steve's comment with defensiveness rather than concern). Eden Lake isn't trying to provide answers as to how to stop this kind of attitude, but it poses the questions in a careful way.

Low Points

For the most part, Jenny and Steve don't make the kind of annoyingly dumb moves designed to make viewers roll their eyes, but occasionally, we're still forced to let out annoyed sighs (i.e., when wondering what one character did all night to remedy the situation)

Lessons Learned

Don't wear gold tops if you're planning on spilling blood on them

Never talk smack about a small town's youth to a local waitress. With the platter comes the power, as I always say between pointed thank yous and pleases

Arya Stark is a badass; a fifteen-year-old British teenager in modern times with an uncanny resemblance to Arya Stark is less badass, but far more terrifying

Rent/Bury/Buy

As far as modern horror goes, Eden Lake is good, if unexceptional. Ils (assistant directed by the guy who made Eden Log, not Eden Lake; did I mention how confusing that is?) is, in my opinion, a more unique telling of a similar story, but those who appreciate sharp modern horror, Michael Fassbender in pain, or the potential terror of a group of adolescents will certainly find something worthwhile in this one.

That's Alotta Monkeys!

I wasn’t expecting The Woman In Black to qualify for The Shortening, but here I go out to the theaters on Friday night like any old civilian and what do I get?

Creepy kids

Antique dolls

5’6 leading men

Monkeys shaking maracas

Insert press tag on hat and venture forth!

Quick Plot: A silent prologue follows three precious Victorian girls having a tea party with an assortment of horrifically wrong-looking dolls. Oh, and that’s not even the freaky part. Without a word, the triplets arise to leap out the window.

Credits!

Flashing forward to the movie’s later Victorian present, the widowed lawyer Arthur Kips (Radcliffe) is heading on a business trip from his young son. WIth his career in jeopardy, Arhur heads to a far-off marshy town where all the locals spout ominous warnings about the abandoned home Kips will have to enter.

It’s not easy. Arthur’s late clients lived in a mansion across the village with the route dependent upon the marshy tide. Years earlier, their young son drowned in a tragic carriage accident. Ever since, the town has seen a rash of mysterious child deaths--suicides, perhaps--and the legend of the titular Lady In White--

Damnit. You know what I meant.

Kips does his best to sift through mounds of paperwork amid the eerie house noises, but once the nursery’s menagerie of music boxes, clowns with cymbals, and monkeys--so many, many monkeys--gets partying, it’s hard to ignore the whole “this house is haunted by dead children and the really pissed off woman that killed them” thing.

On hand to help is Julius Caesar himself, Ciaran Hinds as Daily, a wealthy local mourning the death of his own long-lost son. Skeptical of superstitions, Daily cares for his crazy-with-grief wife who sometimes channels the lost spirit of their child.

Between medium sessions, fog-covered cemeteries, and Changeling-ish wheelchairs, The Woman In Black is an enthusiastically hard-working film. Director James Watkins embraces the Hammer mystique full-force, never winking at the audience or downplaying the fairly horrific dead child weight that hangs on so many key scenes. It’s an important choice because unlike so many other ghost stories that seem so pent on righting the original wrong, The Woman In Black isn’t necessarily satisfied by sympathy.

One local girl drinks poison while another burns to death in a fire. Like an Elm Street without telephones for tongues to stick out of, this is not the place to be if you’re under 18.

And that’s easily one of the most effective tricks of the very effective Woman In Black. Arthur is sympathetic enough as a sad widower trying to hold it together for his son, but it’s more the idea that this unlucky town’s youth is constantly at risk whenever a stranger dares to stir its eternal ghost that really makes the film something sorta dangerous.

High Points

Amid dead little girls and suicidal mad women, it’s nice to find some surprisingly witty moments of humor lurking inside The Woman In Black. The jokes never detract from the scares but help to keep us amused by the characters for whose souls we’re already fearing

SPOILER ALERT!

I absolutely adored the ending of The Woman In Black. On one hand, it didn’t wimp out with a happy Hollywood sing-off. At the same time, it wasn’t mean in scope. Yes, Arthur and his cherubic lil artist of a son do die—in what we imagine is a pretty gruesome manner—but they do so together, sparing either any further loss. It’s kind of bittersweet

THUS ENDETH SPOILERS 

Low Points

Ahhh, the plight of modern genre cinema sound design and its increasing predicatbility. There are a good dozen or so jump scares staged with perfect visual punch, but just about every one is heralded with ham-fisted music that kills its effectiveness

Old Habits

Although a few grays too young for the role, Daniel Radcliffe acquits himself quite well to his first major non-Harry Potter performance. It’s my fault entirely that I found myself constantly wondering how he could sort through all those documents without the aid of his wizard glasses

Lessons Learned

If dispatched to a haunted house on a job that will either make or destroy your career, quit dilly dallying with ghost hunting and get to the paperwork already

Postal workers are and have always been lazy jerks

When in doubt, cut to a monkey doll

If you're name is Daniel Radcliffe, don't ever take a train. Seriously kid, it's just irresponsible at this point

See/Skip/Sneak In

I liked The Woman In Black far more than I expected I would. That being said, this isn’t a revolutionary genre film—if anything, it’s decidedly Hammer and old-fashioned—and will probably be just as enjoyable at home with the lights off, where you don’t have to worry about cell phone jingles or popcorn crunching. I’d love to see the film do well in theaters if only to support this kind of moviemaking, but it opened to better-than-expected numbers so if you want to save your Alexander Hamilton for half the DVD in a few months, I won’t come back and tell your children to off themselves. That’s just tacky.