Showing posts with label girls on film. Show all posts
Showing posts with label girls on film. Show all posts

Friday, September 9, 2011

Lucky Dearest


I've made no secrets about my enthusiasm for the work of Jack Ketchum and likewise, my frustrations with the general off-target film adaptations of his work. While I think both The Lost and The Girl Next Door have merit, there seems to exist some wall between cinema fully capturing what makes Ketchum such a powerfully horrifying writer. After the lackluster Offspring, I didn't expect much to come from his savage clan series but when a filmmaker as unique as Lucky McKee steps up, I take notice.
The Woman, a pseudo-sequel to 2009's Offspring, is now slowly making its way to randomly placed theaters and film festivals. It's a powerful film, one bravely oozing in the ugly examination of sexual violence, domestic abuse, misogyny, enslavement, and power washing. Naturally, such accusations make it prime grade meat for the Girls On Film to tackle, bibs in place and homemade sauce ready to go. Our discussion is quite spoilery, so you may want to save it until The Woman grunts her way to your television. The episode is waiting on iTunes or at over yonder.

On a more fashionable note, my GleeKast cohostess Erica and I recently sat down with The Podcast Podcast/Spread TB’s Fozziebare and his future husband George to watch an amazing little slice of cinema you might know as Mommie Dearest. Loyal readers wil know that I have a special relationship with this film...


And so it was more than a pleasure to share a viewing with others. You can download the commentary at iTunes or stream over here. We tell you when to press play, so listen along in your best red carpet ready gowns and remember to hang them up properly when finished.


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Audio Pleasures On Everything You've Ever Needed to Be Audio-lly Pleasured

What do Donald Sutherland's mustache, armpits, cake, backpfeifengesicht, the unsexiness of the cast of The Reef, Buffy the Vampire Slayer's ex-boyfriends, Fred Savage and Martin Short rapings, and baby tossing have in common? 


His mustache is thinking...
All get their due in this week's episode of Girls On Film, now available for FREE download or stream. The ladies and I head on a whirlwind worldwide tour, stopping in Venice to watch the aforementioned Sutherland's afro make love to Julie Christie's aforementioned armpit in Nicholas Roegg's classic Don't Look Now, then paddling our gondolas over to Hong Kong (it's a long journey that takes a good 20 years) for a discussion of John Woo's Once a Thief. 




It's free! It's feminine! It magic for your ears and ready for the exploiting!


Get it. Before he gets you...



Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Top 10 Reasons To Download This Week’s Girls On Film



10. You’re intrigued by the eerie love story in South Korean auteur Kim Ki-Duk’s celebrated (if frustrating to me) drama, 3-Iron. So intrigued in fact that you'll hear three opinionated women argue some of its merits and missteps.

9. You’re itching for a tangent where film-loving folks discuss their hatred of misused soundtracks in modern horror.
8. We somehow find a way to imagine a world where both Adventures In Babysitting and Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead contained special edition DVD releases that include the only recently discovered deleted rape scenes.

7. We giggle like junkies at the dentist’s office over the wondrous design of the shirtless martial arts practicing, stripper face-cutting villain in Abel Ferrara’s 1984 classic sleazefest, Fear City, a film that includes Melanie Griffith’s breasts and Lando Calrissian uttering the words “Keep the pussy off the counter.”


6. Amber Heard (baggy Daisy Dukes included) in Drive Angry: hot or not? We give the verdict.

5. You can hear my impassioned explanation of how Attack the Block kicks the overlong bell bottom wearing ass of Super 8.

4. I do a grand impression of Tom Berenger’s slow motion battle cry in a boxing ring. 

3. No bra talk this week (yes, it probably has something to do with the rapture) but there's plenty of discussion about boobs (including Melanie Griffith's).


2. It’s free.
1. Joplin (my cat) speaks! I mean that in two ways: her cat voice (a high-pitched squeak of a meow) and her ACTUAL voice that I imagine she would have were she human, i.e., that of a chatty Long Island diner waitress.

(And yes, I'm aware that she's recently been turned into a Sentinel)
Why are you looking at me so funny? Don’t your cats have regional accents?

ANYWAY, head to http://girlsonfilm.podomatic.com or iTunes for Episode 27. It's epic. It's estrogen. It's fine film conversation with international appeal.

Just please, for the love and betterment of Cloud City, keep that pussy off the counter.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The Good, The Bad, The Weird, The Rogue Cinema, The Shirley

New stuff 1: Girls On Film
New episode time! My fellow movie-loving ladies and I gathered around our SKYPE-ready devices to discuss the New Zealand modern classic, Once Were Warriors (starring Jango Fett! and technically Boba Fett and every Stormtrooper on the Death Star if you think about it...) and Kim Jee-Woon's hit Korean western, The Good, The Bad, The Weird. It's two hours of movie talk for your ears and fear not: any dead air is carefully filled with discussions about bras. And occasionally, cats. Primarily because I realized that Korean actor Kang-Ho Song (Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance) is pretty much the human personification of Mookie, at least when he's playing the shlumphy chubby dude in films like The Host.


Trust me on this.

Head to iTunes to download the newest episode or stream it fresh over at http://girlsonfilm.podomatic.com


New Stuff 2: Rogue Cinema 
The new July issue is blazing through the Interwaves, so head over for lots of indie film talk, plus three of my own reviews for the short film Quick Shop, the collection of not-safe-for-vegetarians shorts, The Collective, and a tattooee's worst nightmare, Degenerates Ink.




New Stuff 3: Shirley
West Virginian flea markets are a world unto their own, a magical universe that can be filled with anything from hand-carved coffee tables to hand-made fireworks. I recently had the pleasure of spending the most important dollar of my life on the following:



I have dubbed her Shirley. No, I do not know her history, which includes who fathered her brewing baby or where her shoes went. But I do know that she now lives in the Doll's House with such other doll-esque luminaries as the Moscow-grown Yolki Polki Goldenberg...




Creepy Sister Selden Thrift


and the freakish thing purchased from a now deceased dollar store


Here's a closer thing at The Greatest Thing Ever



Unlike the others, I'm pretty sure I won't wake up to find Shirley hovering over my bed with a knife or mace in her hand. She's got more important things to worry about, right?

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Descending Into Your Ears

It's been about 2.5 years since I started this blog, and somehow, I've yet to devote more than passing references to one of my favorite films of this century, Neil Marshall's new classic, The Descent.




I know, just toss me in a hole with a noisy digital watch why don't you!



Or worse, poop on my head and make me watch The Descent 2.


Well you might have to because today, I am not actually writing about The Descent. Nope. Poop on. Instead, I'm here to direct you to Girls On Film Radio Podcast where in Episode 25, myself and a few other sassy non-spelunking badass females delve into the film, audio-style. We also tackle the Oscar-winning The Lives of Others, another huge recommend of a very different ilk.


Get to it.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

June Is Busting Out All Over Your Ovaries (but not quite that--well, um...)

New stuff!


1. A new month means a new issue of Rogue Cinema, so hop on your hoverboard and skate over here for, among other things, my review of the romantic drama Lovers In a Dangerous Time and an interview with Skew director Seve Schelenz. Stick around for tons of more content, with reviews of new indie releases and discussions with more film folks, including Hobo With a Shotgun director Jason Eisner.




B. Skip that venti frappaccino today and give your $7 to a far more noble cause: Paracinema! Yes, this is an ACTUAL PRINT MAGAZINE filled with original content on all the films you love or love but don't know about yet. Issue #12 features some typically great stuff, including an article on Kiyoshi Kurosawa bu VCinema's Josh Samford, some nostalgia on Explorers from Baby Eater Matt House, an interview with genre luminary (and Leprechaun 3 director!) Brian Trenchard-Smith, and original artwork you won't want to dog-ear. Go GIT it!



III. Need some sweet lady voices in your life? Prefer to hear those sirens ramble on about paint huffing, incest, and unusual genital designs? Then head to iTunes or podomatic for the newest episode of Girls On Film Radio. Myself and a few lovelier ladies tackle Alexander Payne's first film, Citizen Ruth (drink every time we say 'abortion'!) and a Japanese Criterion classic from 1963 called The Insect Woman. Shockingly enough, we somehow avoided bra talk this week, although I like to think that's made up for with adorable dog snoring.




Four. Those of you with a weakness for showtunes, pop music, or sweater vests probably already listen to GleeKast, the podcast myself and knitting pro extraordinaire Erica host on everybody's favorite/most hated Fox musical. Even so, allow me to remind you that our last 'official' episode is now available for download. We're taking a mini-hiatus to breathe and dedazzle, but we'll be back this summer with more bonus content on all things ridiculousness. 


Bonus points if you catch/agree with my Troll reference.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Stufffffffffffffff!


I love 1988’s The Blob. You should too. There’s absolutely no reason to not. If you need more proof, download the latest Girls on Film to hear me and a few special gals make audio love to one of the ‘80s’ greates horror movies.

It's gooey.
Also, there’s talk of Tokyo Gore Police and an extended discussion about shopping for bras in clearance bins.

It's educational.
In other news, there’s a new Rogue Cinema issue online, wherein you can find my reviews of the sleazy (in a good way) The Super, plus the anthology Tales of the Undead and the serial killer meanie The 11th Aggression. Go get some!
Lastly, the real reason you're still reading:

Let’s face it: you came here to be BurlyQ’d. And the best way to do that? Download the GleeKast Meets Podcast Podcast commentary track of course! How else are you going to hear a whole bunch of overly intoxicated podcasters impersonate Cher singing television theme songs of the ‘80s? 



So slip on those glitter butthands leotards and wagon wheel watusi your way to iTunes!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Marchness!


Raise the ceilings folks! We’ve survived the onslaught of evil children, deadly dolls, German dwarfs, lustful dummies, petite clowns, itty bitty cowboys, puppet people, manitous, angry fetuses, homicidal incarnations of aborted fetuses, and babies possessed by the angry spirit of cabaret dancing little men. The First (Probably) Annual Month of the Vertically Challenged Villains hath ended, so stretch your legs stand tall.


But don’t brag about it. Some of us still need to buy capri pants in order to not have to hem, thank you.
Anyhoosers, March will get swinging soon with a potpouri of upcoming reviews but before that, I’ve got a pile of announcements in need of being shared. Among them:
-Paracinema, my favorite magazine of all time (no conflict of interest was contained in that statement) has a new issue out, and my friends, it is something truly special. Issue 11 is composed entirely of genre film articles written by those rare and mysterious beasts known as Women. 

You might have noticed I never really addressed the fact that February was Women in Horror Month. Part of it was my preoccupation with a more endangered minority (the shorties) but the other is that I don’t have any overwhelming amount to say about it. The idea is great, but when I think about all the incredible bloggesses I get the pleasure to read, I don’t necessarily see a need to single them out as a rarity. I like to believe we’re in an age where having estrogen doesn’t negate or validate your genre film parking ticket, and I think Paracinema’s Women’s Issue is further proof that smart, literate, and cinematically minded females are in no danger of disappearing. 
Head over to Paracinema's pretty new website to get your copy, and expect true happiness (and fine, maybe your period) to follow. Read such luminaries as The Horror Digest’s Andre Dumas, The Blood Sprayer’s queen Kristy Jett, Buried In a Book Crypt’s Ashlee, and yeah, Me as we pontifiicate on a variety of filmic magic. On my part, you get the chance to finally hear how I feel about George Romero’s evolutionary feminism. I’ll leave it there and expect you to complete the rest.


-Elsewhere in the Interworld, it’s Marcharaimi over at a blog that most definitely does not suck, and not just ‘cause it’s called Things That Don’t Suck. The extremely talented Bryce is dedicating the tail end of March into April to the gooey mind behind Evil Dead with a blogathon of epic Deadite proportions. I urge and implore you all to give it a gander. Raimi fans can’t lose, and readers who dig smart commentary on books and film can find few better resources than TTDS.

-Another field trip! March is a new month at Rogue Cinema, and as always, a new batch of indie film goodness is baking in the oven known as That Website. As always, it’s a great way to learn about some under the radar fare. Head on over and see what you find, paying, I would hope, special attention to my interview with the smart and promising Steve Gibson, director of the new clever ghost story-meets-Ghost Hunters chiller The Feed.

-As always, there are GleeKasts and Girls On Film Radio Podcasts floating around the Internet for your ears to experience. Hear the impassioned GoF Oscars show, where we beg the gods in vain for a Winter’s Bone victory (apparently we should have been asking for The Best Film of The Year to get ANY MENTIONS WHATSOVER in the many montage-y bits compiled on select nominated films). There was also a divisive episode on Calvaire that led to intense girlfights. Pillows were abused. And John Hawkes was sainted.

-Also, March marks a certain extravaganza known as HorrorHound Weekend and by golly, let the extravagance begin! If you're planning on being anywhere near Indianapolis in the last weekend of the month, be sure to stop by for the festivities, and I don't mean a photo op with Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys star Corey Feldman. Sure, you can spend some time pondering how small your hand looks inside of Ken Foree's mitty handshake, but I'm more excited to have the chance to see some of my favorite bloggers, podcasters, and general Internet entities. Fun will be had, so drop a line here if you're planning on going. Just don't expect me to hold your place in the line for Boondock Saints' autographs.




-Finally, now comes the time where I address that small but vital portion of the Doll’s House readers who have suffered in silence for two years: the knitters. My dear friend and GleeKast cohostess Erica has joined the esteemed Order of the Bloggers with her own site, Knit’s a Small World. Now I don’t know a cross-stitch from a lower level Disney movie set in Hawaii, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to share Erica’s adventures in yarn with those who do. The site’s here and will be added to the blogroll. Knit’s official.

On that note, it seems fitting to toast one of my usually least favorite months with a bowl of Lucky Charms soaked in Guiness. That’s how we non-Irish do it, and trust me: we do it well.

Monday, November 1, 2010

The Day After


I know, I know. For horror fans across the land, no day hurts quite so much as November 1st. Gone is the zombie cinema playing on loop and short-lived coolness of being the person at work folks come to for recommendations. Back are the odd stares you get for your refusal to remove that dangling glitter skeleton or energizing yourself with candy corn instead of coffee.


It's not easy being us (or for that matter, above pictured Pumpkin Pete, who tragically passed away two days before his holiday and more tragically, smelled about as pleasant as that kid whose brains get pumpkin mushed in Halloween III).




Sigh.


But hey, there's always movies to watch! And write about! And read about! So many in fact that the film fanatic Rupert Pupkin is gathering lists from bloggers on the most obscure or underrated horror films of all time. Check out my top ten right here, then get thee to Netflix to back up how much you agree with me!


Also, elsewhere in the generous reach-out of bloggery is my old pal T.L. Bugg, who's been tacking the not so easy task of picking the best remakes of all time. He's found some surprising picks, all justified with panache. Head there and track it back, then don't forget to see my guest post of 13--yup, I found 13!--good, great, or um...somehow merit holding remakes.


Next, as your teeth are busy chewing through a whole lot of bite-size chocolate goodness, give your ears a workout with a little Girls On Film Radio, where three lovely ladies and myself got all classy with a discussion of 99.9 and, in a true act of elegance, Lucker the Necrophagous.




Fiiiiine, necrophilia with airhead hookers isn't quite the definition of Emily Post. So let's clean this joint up with something way more refined: Barbara Hershey getting ghost raped!




Head to the Gentlemen's Blog to Midnite Cinema for my thoughts on 1982's The Entity. Then take a shower.


Finally, we'll now take a moment to look forward to what might come next...



Just go with it kids. Just go with it.