Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Go Back to the Sewer

In the realm of niche horror genres, the Jaws ripoff is one that I probably enjoy far more than I should. Sometimes, even more than actual Jaws movies (particularly if you're including the full gamut of animal attack flicks in that category). 

Quick Plot: We open in a shifty Florida reptile farm where out-of-towners watch alligators chew up a poorly trained employee. That doesn't deter a young girl from bringing home a baby from the gift shop, where she lovingly takes care of him in her Chicago dwelling. Dad gets mad one day and flushes the little guy down the toilet, unaware of the urban legends about the havoc such action could wreak. 

Twelve years later, detective David Madison (glorious Robert Forster) is investigating a series of murders as body parts wash up from the city sewers. He soon discovers a shady biological research company doing horrendous testing on puppies in order to make a growth serum for livestock. The failed subjects are tossed in the same sewer system where a certain pretten carnivor gets to devour them, fueling an unnatural growth resulting in a 36' long hungry hunter.

David soon teams up with leading herpetologist Marisa Kendell (Robin Riker), who reveals that she once had her own baby alligator that met a watery fate at the hands of her father. If you're wondering if this seemingly very intelligent scientist figures out or acknowledges that this city's blood is on her hands, the answer is no.

That's okay. Forster and Riker have their own unique, fun chemistry, so much so that this movie is what supposedly led Quentin Tarantino to cast Forster in Jackie Brown. With a script by eventual Oscar nominee John Sayles, Alligator is a smart movie playing dumb. It works.

Director Lewis Teague (of Cujo and more importantly, my beloved Cat's Eye) apparently set out to make a scary film but realized quickly that his effects weren't going to be up to the task. Instead, he decided to lean into the humor. Forster easily gets the tone, while Craig Huxley's synth-y score hilariously toes a line between Jaws and a lawsuit. 

High Points

Enough good can't be said about Robert Forster's approach to this movie

Low Points

For a film that's getting a lot of mileage out of comeuppance, it feels a tad icky that so many working people die violent deaths at the big wealthy wedding setpiece

Lessons Learned

You can always trust your first impression of what a man's apartment would look like

Even the most expensive limo is not alligator-proof

There's simply no such thing as an honest mayor in any town that has a water source

For the Ladies

I wish I kept count, but for whatever reason, Robert Forster is constantly topless in this movie. Teague's camera has more shirtless Forster shots than Rob Zombie has closeups of his wife's butt in The Devil's Rejects. 

Rent/Bury/Buy

This is a movie that has a little boy fall off his suburban diving board into the open mouth of a 36' long alligator. Obviously, it's a blast. Find it on Shudder and have a good time.