Best of, Year One: It's a Clip Show! Sort of. Not really.

Let’s keep the 1-Year Anniversary Party alive with my compilation of the 22 best films I’ve watched and reviewed thus far. Why 22, you ask? Well, mostly because when I went through the archives, that was the count of movies I genuinely loved and seek to forcefully make others love as well. 

So without further adieu, here are 22 horror, sci-fi, and bloody good action flicks that made me thankful to have an Internet connection, Netflix subscription, library membership, and general lack of important things to do.

22. Dead End 

Refreshingly funny under-the-radar ghost story (of sorts) from 2003. It's Christmas Eve and one dysfunctional family is lost  on an eerie back road en route to the in-laws. The road trip sub-genre of horror is nothing new, but with sharp performances and a clever script, Dead End makes it well worth the revisit.

21. Carriers 

2009’s most unfairly shafted thriller, a surprisingly effecting tale of young people attempting to survive a world-wide plague. Great example of how to take the familiar--and overdone--tropes of post-apocalyptic cinema and explore them from a different angle.

20. God Told Me To 

Larry Cohen’s disturbing, then chaotic tale of New Yorkers going postal on strangers and their loved ones. The third act is a tad unsatisfying, but some of the early attacks are truly haunting in a realistic, matter-of-fact manner that has stayed with me for months.

19. Doomsday 

Neil Marshall’s all-out Mad Max-inspired action romp didn’t quite wow me the first time I saw it, but upon rewatch, I truly do love the insane gluttony of this film. A guilty pleasure of apocalyptic proportions.

18. Nightmare City 

My first (and irresponsibly still only) foray into the catalog of Umberto Lenzi, this zombies-on-Red-Bull horror features some of the best undead attacks you’ve never seen, plus an amusement park sequence that puts Zombieland to shame.

17. Martyrs 

Or The Film That Divided 2008, a manifesto of sorts on torture porn that, much like Cannibal Holocaust, used its subject to explore its themes. Having only watched it once, I’m still not ready to declare it the masterpiece some of my fellow bloggers have decreed, but my viewing experience remains one of the most suspenseful and thoughtful times I’ve had with a film this year.

16. The Signal 

Another great approach to a tired formula, this under appreciated 2006 film puts a fresh spin on the anthology and everyone’s-a-violent-psycho themes we’ve seen so much of in recent years. The first act, where the renters of a modern apartment complex proceed to tear each other apart with tools and hands, is exhilaratingly frightening, while the second takes an abrupt, but rewarding switch into the blackest of black comedy territory. It falters in the more romantically dramatic final part, but for 2/3rds of its run time, The Signal is a truly fascinating film. 

15. Bio Zombie 

Without question, the best movie to ever combine Precious Moments and zombies. Laugh-out-loud zomedy that’s follows a Hong Kong pair of Beavis & Buttheadish mallrats as they battle the undead. It may sound like a recipe for unfunny dullness, but Bio Zombie features solid performances, great timing, well-done physical comedy, and dialogue that works in any language.

14. The Christmas Tale 

I was inspired to check out this little gem based on a fine recommendation from Matt over at Chuck Norris Ate My Baby , and though his appetite for children may be questionable, his taste in film is not. From the hombres behind REC comes this nostalgic story of zombie-loving preteens plagued with a moral quandary involving a pit, female Santa Claus, and voodoo. Produced for Spain’s 6 Films To Keep You Awake series, it’s well worth checking out when you want something different. And great.

13. Orphan 

Few things make me quite as happy as seeing good horror in a movie theater. One of those few things is watching a creepy child actor threaten to cut off a little boy’s privates. That may be sick, but nowhere near as much as this 2009 theatrically released  evil kid flick, one of the few that wasn’t a remake or sequel and certainly one of the best. Trashy, scary, funny and mean, Orphan deserves to be adopted. 

12. Tombs of the Blind Dead 

There are so many awful zombie films that it’s easy to overlook some of the greats, but this Italian horror (the first in the Knights of Templar series) features some of the most suspenseful attacks in ‘70s history.

11. The Stuff

Can’t get enough...of Larry Cohen’s quirky satirical spin on consumerism, with a wonderfully wacked out Michael Moriarity having almost as good a time acting as we are watching him. Three words: killer ice cream. 

10. The Happiness of the Katakuris 

Perhaps the most joyful movie I’ve seen all year, even if does involve suicide, zombie dances, economic hardship, and volcanic eruptions. Takeshi Miike’s musical comedy is a rich dessert of cinematic glee, filled with immensely likable performances and a warm-hearted tale of a family trying to find their way...through song. Yes, there’s gore to be had, but this is a sweetly innocent offering from one of Japan’s most controversial filmmakers and oddly enough, one of the most enjoyably life-affirming films I’ve seen in years.

9. Burnt Offerings 

Haunted houses generally do little but bore me, but this 1976 film does some truly interesting things with an old idea, following a normal young family (although how normal can you be with Karen Black and Oliver Reed as your parents?) as they rent an antique dream house for their summer vacation. Much stranger and more quietly horrifying than you would expect.

8. Baxter 

A black comedy about a sociopathic bull terrier and the Hitler worshipping boy who takes him in. Dryly hysterical and weirdly disturbing. Truly strange in a super way.


7. Christmas Evil 

Definitely the winning gift of this December’s yuletide festival. Odd little movie about a Santa-loving lonely man who finally decides to make the holiday what it should be, even if that means murdering a few strangers lacking the Christmas spirit. 

6. We’re Going to Eat You 

Hong Kong martial arts extravaganza with beautiful fight choreography and even better dialogue. Funny and kickass.

5. Onibaba 

Ooooh, prestige. Released by Criterion, so it has to be good. And yes, it is. Feudal Japan plus freaky masks in a gritty black-and-white landscape that puts you under a spell.

4. Spider Baby 

Jack Hill’s original cannibal clan horror is pure joy from start to finish, with wonderfully playful performances from masters Sid Haig and Lon Chaney Jr. to lesser known, but truly dedicated youngsters Beverly Washburn and Jill Banner. Hysterical and heartfelt, with a twisted sense of humor brought to life in every scene.

3. Deadgirl 

My pick for best horror of 2009, an indie film that shows there still is life left in the zombie genre. Dark and not overly pleasant, but a great exploration of small town youth, power dynamics, and sexuality.

2. Tourist Trap 

For the past few years, I’ve followed this tradition of always watching a new horror movie with the lights off the first night in  a new home. Past choices include Kairo and Inside, two wise options that probably affected me far more due to my choice to view them alone in unfamiliar surroundings (also, foreign countries). Tourist Trap’s number came up last May when I officially moved into my current Bronx lair. With only a bed, TV-less TV stand, and Pound Puppy furnishing my living room, I visited Slausen's road museum hoping for something terrifying...and got it. The sheer eeriness of this film--from the cheerful carnival music to icky mannequins--physically gave me the chills. Maybe I was influenced by my new surroundings, but Tourist Trap  remains one of those wonderful first viewings that renews a horror fan's faith in cinema.


1. Who Can Kill a Child? 

Without doubt, the scariest film I’ve watched this past year. A sad and all-too-realistic opening, creepingly quiet buildup, and one of the maddest last hours of any horror classic. Find it. Watch it. Love it. Get sterilized because of it.

Honorable Mention: Inglorious Basterds

Since this is primarily a list of films I watched for the blog, it feels a bit of a cheat to give Quentin Tarantino’s blockbuster an official place on the list. Just know that I love it, and you should too.