Veggie Tales

You know what used to be big? Telekinesis. Why, back slightly before I was born, all the cool kids were being filmed in closeup as they stared intently to make objects dart across the room. It was like texting. But awesome.

Or something, and that's the best lead-in I've got for today's review of Patrick, a 1978 Australian thriller directed by Richard Franklin.

Quick Plot: Twentysomething Patrick (the bug-eyed Robert Thompson) is not too happy hearing his mother and her boyfriend fornicate behind his walls. Instead of lashing out with heavy metal or totaling the family Toyota, this curly haired monster decides to drop an electric heater in their bathtub as the giggling lovebirds soap each other with annoying enthusiasm.

Three years later, we meet Kathy (Susan Penhaligon), a nurse in the middle of a trial separation from her workaholic/drinkaholic husband Ed. While setting up her new life, Kathy gets employed at a private psychiatric clinic in Melbourne where her chief responsibility (aside from not offending the humorless Matron Cassidy) is to watch over the now comatose Patrick. Lubricate his eyeballs, change his sheets...there’s not much else Kathy is expected to do, but how many crossword puzzles can a gal conquer before she starts to inevitably bond with the seemingly helpless man under her care?

Slowly--quite slowly--strange things start to happen to Kathy and the men around her. While attending a swinging pool party, Kathy’s not-date nearly drowns for no apparent reason. After a somewhat romantic afternoon with said poor swimmer, Kathy returns home to find her apartment ransacked. The clinic’s typewriter can’t seem to function more than one line without breaking into gibberish, and Patrick’s windows refuse to close. All harmless spooks, right?

Naturally, no. Kathy carefully draws her own connections between some of the mystery and Patrick’s not-so-meaningless spit communication. Of course, none of the men she seeks out offer any actual help, partly because her story is unbelievable and partly because her sex seems to keep her from ever being taken seriously. This was, for me, one of the most interesting aspects of Patrick. Although this is a film known for its unusual story and creepy leadup, I found the chauvinistic undertones to be the most fascinating plot piece. Matron Cassidy, for example, initially comes off as a rigid stock villain, but there’s something to be said for how her knowledge and opinions have no weight against the supervising doctor. 

Sexism aside, Patrick is a slow burning film that somehow reminds me of why I don’t really like to cook. It takes a lot of time, involves a whole lot of ingredients, and seems a rich and rewarding experience throughout its process until you get the end, where the final product is never quite as rich as the work put into it. I was pretty taken with Patrick’s build-up, mostly due to Penhaligon’s sympathetic and smart performance and the strength of Everett De Roche’s script. The problem comes at the very end, when all that careful development and subtle creepiness just...puffs away with less energy than one of Patrick’s unconscious spits. 

High Points

Penhaligon has a great presence and wise take on Kathy’s confusion that probably makes the film far better than it may have been with the wrong lead. I’ll also give a shoutout to Robert Helmann’s eccentric and rather ridiculous mad doctor and Julia Blake’s strict nurse--a creation two steps away from caricature but carefully grounded in her own beliefs

Low Points

I’ll blame the era, but the final scene is scored with such an overdone electrical score that it’s hard to take seriously

The dissenting opinions over what should actually be done with the comatose Patrick help to build an intriguing power dynamic among the medical staff, but the film doesn’t quite allow its characters to play enough with their relationships to make any sort of actual statement about ethics or philosophy

Lessons Learned

Yellow telephones were quite popular in 1970s Australia

People with taboo sexual fetishes often work in the nursing field

Tuna casserole can be a dangerous meal in the hands of estranged husbands

Literally

Rape fantasies aren’t quite as popular as you may think, particularly when you lazily try to force one upon your estranged wife

Rent/Bury/Buy

My copy of Patrick is nestled comfortably in the Aussie Horror Collection triple pack along with Strange Behavior (a spoofish slasher) and a vampire film called Thirst. I’ve yet to watch the other two, but if you can find this set at a decent price (I won’t brag about the mere $5 sale I grabbed mine...or will I?) then it’s worth checking out, especially as all three films include a few special features. As far as Patrick goes, it’s certainly something different and well-made, a unique thriller that defies common expectation but still knows how to have some fun. I was a little let down by the anticlimactic ending, but this is still a neat enough oddball of underground cinema that deserves a watch on a quiet afternoon. Or hey, Valentine's Day is fast approaching, so why not save it a special midnight showing with your sweetheart? It does features one of the best love letters ever put onscreen:

What I wouldn't do to find this note in a box of chocolates.