tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post3552145611681861414..comments2024-03-27T12:35:33.631-04:00Comments on The Deadly Doll's House of Horror Nonsense: Horrible Non-Horror! The Twilight EditionUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-53092562201597504532010-05-12T19:23:00.304-04:002010-05-12T19:23:00.304-04:00Goodness woman, for that crime I sentence thee to ...Goodness woman, for that crime I sentence thee to 50 viewings of a much better twin-centered film, Dead Ringers! And no, you cannot fast forward through the gynecologist-gone-wrong scenes!deadlydollshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06061028044836745499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-87399207111103889692010-05-12T17:25:28.555-04:002010-05-12T17:25:28.555-04:00guess without imdb: mary-kate.
I just checked an...guess without imdb: mary-kate.<br /><br />I just checked and am in fact right. I'm going to go punish myself for telling them apart now.Erica Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05618912496287136277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-10436589578152782792010-05-03T16:59:17.234-04:002010-05-03T16:59:17.234-04:00You can never have too much useless knowledge. For...You can never have too much useless knowledge. For example, can you tell me--sans IMDB--which Olsen twin was featured in the hilariously abominable trailer for Beastly?deadlydollshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06061028044836745499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-66379630600917803002010-05-03T00:01:37.230-04:002010-05-03T00:01:37.230-04:00I feel it is my purpose to keep you on track Em. ...I feel it is my purpose to keep you on track Em. Plus I have too much useless knowledge about pop culture. :(Erica Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05618912496287136277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-71888706916792381992010-04-30T09:12:27.375-04:002010-04-30T09:12:27.375-04:00Good point Zed. I guess in the age of "I'...Good point Zed. I guess in the age of "I'm so great, I can put myself singing to my hairbrush on youtube!" we do overestimate our worth.<br /><br />Says the gal who now writes a blog and records a podcast. Where's my vampire to make me the center of universe???deadlydollshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06061028044836745499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-10819995479327003502010-04-29T13:10:28.312-04:002010-04-29T13:10:28.312-04:00"My only issue is that this 'me' thin..."My only issue is that this 'me' thing is new. Haven't we always been selfish lil bastards?"<br /><br />But we previous generations didn't live in a society or parental structure that supported and encouraged our selfish inclinations.ZedWordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09350866895880672235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-22056062615766240702010-04-29T08:10:29.269-04:002010-04-29T08:10:29.269-04:00db: The money shot in Twilight, I think, is just t...db: The money shot in Twilight, I think, is just the constant reassurances Edward makes that he loves Bella. Seriously, New Moon ends with an inappropriate marriage proposal to a, 18-year-old girl! It's wish fulfillment on some weird child-like Barbie dream wedding level.deadlydollshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06061028044836745499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-46275702215089099622010-04-29T07:24:35.748-04:002010-04-29T07:24:35.748-04:00Thanks MIke! For that compliment, you deserve a ba...Thanks MIke! For that compliment, you deserve a bag of BBQ corn nuts!deadlydollshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06061028044836745499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-39456174877639739182010-04-29T00:17:36.393-04:002010-04-29T00:17:36.393-04:00This post is an insult to Corn Nuts! :)
Seriously...This post is an insult to Corn Nuts! :)<br /><br />Seriously, awesome work Emily. Lots of full laughs in this one, and it's for the greater good.The Mikehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09871017982169159144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-61098793750394403322010-04-28T23:51:28.263-04:002010-04-28T23:51:28.263-04:00You truly have gazed into the gaping maw of incomp...You truly have gazed into the gaping maw of incomprehensible cultural poopery to take on both films at once! I've been trying to avoid this myself, but after reading your take on it I think I have to give it the ol' college dropout try -- like you said, if I'm gonna talk smack I should at least give it a shot. I guess what seems to bug me isn't that it's not scary (I mean, I like Dark Shadows, which is kinda my mental comparison, and there's nothing scary about that) or "vampire-authentic" or even well written, it's that I don't get the *payoff*. If vampire books are the English-speaking version of tentacle porn (in that I guess penetration is penetration) then what is the suburban teenage version of the money shot? To quote the film Slap Shot, if you were gonna underline the fuck scenes in Twilight what would you underline? VC Andrews totally makes sense by this criteria, as do other teenage faves (Go Ask Alice, for example), but is Twilight just so subtle (or context-dependent) in its suggestiveness that I'm just not seeing it? Anyway, the die is cast, I'll try to get up a review (or as much of a review as I can scream out before my mind shrivels up like a prune and goes silent forever) this weekend.dbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08610914455757359201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-88096405075654944522010-04-28T23:19:53.006-04:002010-04-28T23:19:53.006-04:00Zed: Interesting point. My only issue is that this...Zed: Interesting point. My only issue is that this 'me' thing is new. Haven't we always been selfish lil bastards?<br /><br />Matt: That 2-disc Near Dark release is amazing in itself AND has better cover art. And you know, I did sell a bunch of my V.C.Andrews books to a used bookstore a few years back so that COULD have been mine, but I think I actually hung onto my FitA copy out of nostalgia's sake. I have passages underlined in that thing!deadlydollshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06061028044836745499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-51064902611175867582010-04-28T22:40:40.883-04:002010-04-28T22:40:40.883-04:00I will get to them one day for sure...only to part...I will get to them one day for sure...only to partially torture myself and also it should garner a bit of entertainment in review form! <br /><br />I have seen the weak cover art for that Near Dark release...I bought the special edition used on DVD for like $3 and it has the original cover, so I feel good! That is a good and only one of many examples of the Twilight influence that is sure to continue.<br /><br />By the way, after I read this post, I saw that exact same Flowers in the Attic book at a garage sale! I thought it was your house, but you live in NY, so no dice!Matt-suzakahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16215962688591291944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-48165565698645863932010-04-28T22:26:01.049-04:002010-04-28T22:26:01.049-04:00I think that this millenial generation is growing ...I think that this millenial generation is growing up selfish and self-absorbed. They feel like they are the center of the universe, righteously self-entitled, and as if their every self-absorbed emotion is as powerful as the forces that move the heavens. <br /><br />With that being said, Twilight seems to perfectly suited to its demographic (or Moms who want to pretend they're their daughter's age). <br /><br />Also, that line about corn nuts was classic.ZedWordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09350866895880672235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-42289753837575632852010-04-28T19:59:57.832-04:002010-04-28T19:59:57.832-04:00Bryce: Good point. Catholics are sooooo dramatic. ...Bryce: Good point. Catholics are sooooo dramatic. Just, like, marry the girl and bite her already. Don't feel so guilty about it. <br /><br />Sheesh, the juggernaut that is Twilight is insane and I can't imagine how weird it must have been for someone like you to have read it before the hype, only to be so incredibly bewildered by its success. I can't even think of a comparison! Pacifier necklaces maybe?<br /><br />B-Sol: The DotD reference is in New Moon, when Anna Kendrick goes on a rant about how, like, zombie movies are just, like, silly because the people shop and complain and I don't remember the rest because I wanted to kill myself. <br /><br />But that's beside the point: your daughter watched these films? My gosh. Your parenting skills are questionable. Very. Questionable.deadlydollshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06061028044836745499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-22281508751618472332010-04-28T18:18:49.153-04:002010-04-28T18:18:49.153-04:00I would say that you saved me from watching Twilig...I would say that you saved me from watching Twilight, but unfortunately, I already have (thanks mom, wife and daughter!)... However, you may have at least saved me from watching the second one, which you should be proud of.<br /><br />And was there a Dawn of the Dead reference?? I think I missed it. I would've recalled the brain aneurysm...B-Solhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10717121313061173603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-39278410230688825372010-04-28T15:29:37.512-04:002010-04-28T15:29:37.512-04:00I love comparing the dark operatic Catholicism of ...I love comparing the dark operatic Catholicism of the Interview series to the squeaky clean yet somehow more disturbing Mormonism of Twilight.<br /><br />Catholic Vampires will destroy themselves to prove the existence of God to an unbelieving populace. <br /><br />Mormon Vampires will go on a picnic.<br /><br />Andalsoindocdernateyou. <br /><br />Funny story before the Twilight broohaha was in full swing I noticed my little cousin reading the books. I asked her what it was about, she told me "vampires". I figured "Oh cool bonding experience." <br /><br />I blasted through that poorly written piece of shit in a couple hours (one thing not mentioned enough in all the criticism is how line by line incompetent the writing is. Snobs love to bitch about Rowling, but Meyers makes Rowling look like fucking Cormac McCarthey) I chuckled fully confident that I would never have to hear about this piece of shit again.<br /><br />I drove to the supermarket to get some alcohol to bleach it out of my brain, and came upon a PALLET being unloaded that contained nothing but Twilight books. <br /><br />The sinking existential horror that gripped me at that moment can not be defined.Bryce Wilsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17040954580033470664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-42239259025747915682010-04-28T15:06:54.332-04:002010-04-28T15:06:54.332-04:00Heather: Ask that woman why she despises the films...Heather: Ask that woman why she despises the films compared to the books please (how you like that I just gave you a homework assignment, by the way). I was under the under the impression that the movies were really close in spirit and plot, but perhaps I'm wrong. Actually, that never happens, but ask anyway.<br /><br />And BJ-C, you know that I live to serve! Just remember to let that keyboard sit awhile before typing. I don't want to cause any more dangerous accidents there.<br /><br />Matt: I still wonder if there's hope for Emmerich based on a strange little ventriloquist movie he made in the '80s called Joey. Always freaked me out and from what I recall, it didn't involve CGI or heroic family men saving the world.<br /><br />And talk about Twilight's effect: have you seen the terrible Blu Ray cover to Near Dark? Floating heads and all!<br /><br />Of course, I do secretly hope you watch them because like all that comes out of your body, I predict a review would be golden.deadlydollshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06061028044836745499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-39838844457981760952010-04-28T14:35:12.554-04:002010-04-28T14:35:12.554-04:00I came too, but it only dribbled out onto my rug. ...I came too, but it only dribbled out onto my rug. I am getting old you know! <br /><br />Great review and I always support and commend a reputable horror fan taking on the task of watching and reviewing something that might hurt a little. <br /><br />For the most part, I am with you on the stance of don't make fun unless you have seen it, however, I have seen enough Roland Emmerich films to keep my distance from something like 2012. I shall not be duped again! <br /><br />I, never having seen a Twilight film or read any of the books, keep from trashing the property. I do get irritated that so many people are completely smitten by it, while a film like Let the Right One In are all but ignored by the general public. It also sucks that the films have and will have a major influence on horror in the next half decade or so, due to their popularity and the jump on the bandwagon mentality of Hollywood. <br /><br />I myself have wanted to watch and review the films at some point in the future and even before seeing them, I almost know how those reviews will come out. The movies are lame, yes, but are they for me? Nope.Matt-suzakahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16215962688591291944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-85982464287044175192010-04-28T13:22:29.597-04:002010-04-28T13:22:29.597-04:00I just came. All over my computer.
Thanks Emily, I...I just came. All over my computer.<br />Thanks Emily, I needed that.<br /><3BJ Colangelohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03794586844789183140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-84012340362179100612010-04-28T13:13:39.080-04:002010-04-28T13:13:39.080-04:00Kangas: You're totally right about the typo, b...Kangas: You're totally right about the typo, but wrong on the homosexual underlyings. Those are totally reserved for the werewolves who, I'm scared to say, make Shivers--with his half-bib teasingly covering that collarbone--resemble an absolute Puritan!<br /><br />PoT: I'm currently wiping off sodium dust from my delicious BBQ corn nuts (which I would never EVER compare to Bella) so you may be right. I've never had the original but there is indeed a good chance they're more interesting. Hell, rice cakes are more interesting.<br /><br />Erica: My apologies. I guess I valued Chris/Charlie's role as much as his daughter does. Also, notice how you're quite good at correcting my modern culture snafus?<br /><br />Geoff: Indeed! I was thinking about this while watching Repulsion, a fantastic film but also focusing on a pretty, but totally undatable woman who draws the attention of a nice enough young man. What gives? <br /><br />And wow Twilight cruise. Wow wow. I imagine that they give you sunscreen cut with glitter and lots of valium. Sounds kinda neat if that's the case!deadlydollshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06061028044836745499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-82608129800292582992010-04-28T13:03:32.045-04:002010-04-28T13:03:32.045-04:00I can't believe you did it Emily. Actually, I ...I can't believe you did it Emily. Actually, I have New Moon here. My dad's girlfriend wanted me to get it through Netflix so she could watch it. She likes the books, but hates the movies. Since I have New Moon here, I've been throwing around the idea of going ahead and getting Twilight, and reviewing both. I haven't added it yet, but I'm considering it.<br /><br />As always, enjoyed reading what you thought of the movies!Heather Santroushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03225708725622936749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-81954868026503096382010-04-28T11:26:10.320-04:002010-04-28T11:26:10.320-04:00That was some of the best reading I have had in a ...That was some of the best reading I have had in a while. Maybe because it's not in my demographic, but I just don't understand Twilight. My wife drags me out to see them in the theater and like Bella, I do everything she says and does. Haha<br /><br />The premise of the books/films seem to be the author putting herself into a fantasy universe where men fight for her affection even though she is 100% broody and as fun as getting a root canal. Se should rename Bella Debbie Downer. Bella is such a loser and no dudes who look like that would be that interested in her. No I'm serious and I dispute this all of the time with my wife. During the "passing months" sequence where she is in depression due to Edward leaving, I told my wife (in the theater mind you), "What a whacked out desperate bitch! How pathetic can you be?"<br /><br />So Emily, I guess what I'm saying is that I liked your review and you allowed me to air my frustrations with the whole Twilight universe.<br /><br />BTW - there's a Twilight-themed cruise. Totally serious. You visit locations of the film. How lame. Sci-Fi and even Twilight get their own theme cruises but horror gets denied once again. I mean come on, a Twilight cruise?The Man-Cavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18148994596635513600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-3785419825516330072010-04-28T11:20:32.605-04:002010-04-28T11:20:32.605-04:00FYI The dad's name is Charlie, not Chris. Giv...FYI The dad's name is Charlie, not Chris. Give the man some respect! He and his mustache certainly don't get any from Bell! :PErica Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05618912496287136277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-31600240322652433542010-04-28T11:00:15.527-04:002010-04-28T11:00:15.527-04:00You take that back! Corn Nuts have plenty of perso...You take that back! Corn Nuts have plenty of personality. Mmmmmm, Corn Nuts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1003758772971289930.post-88080908432135976472010-04-28T10:57:17.437-04:002010-04-28T10:57:17.437-04:00"The author being a mormon sounds familiar. I..."The author being a mormon sounds familiar. Is that true? "<br /><br />Emily made a typo. She meant to say "the author being a MORON". <br /><br />I mean...vampires that GLOW in sunlight? Holy crap, I made a shirtless clown, but even I think sparkling vampires is SUPERGAY.Kangashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05306092145547452231noreply@blogger.com