Perhaps that's a good thing, since it means I'll never end up in a slasher.
Quick Plot: A gaggle of mostly attractive 28-year-olds are assembling for their ten-year high school reunion. Hosting the pre-gaming is Ryan, a professional hockey player who was just released from his contract by the NY Rangers. When his girlfriend Ashley arrives at his empty coastal mansion to cheer him up, she ends up murdered in a method that brings her high school superlative to life: most likely to end up with her name in lights.
High/Low Point Tie
On one hand, Perez Hilton is the worst thing in this movie. On the other, his lady screams are so perfectly shrill that they genuinely brighten the entire scene. We're calling this one a stalemate
You do not get laid by leading your girlfriend into opening a closet with precariously stacked items just waiting to tumble on her little blond head
The cure for a gushing stab wound is boiled water
Seriously, don't bully the awkward kid in high school. HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If you're looking for a light-spirited throwback slasher, Most Likely to Die is more than adequate to pass the time. I can't quite put my finger on what's missing here, but it didn't charm me the way I was hoping. My pickiness aside, this is a perfectly fine modern horror film that may awaken your nostalgia for that tried and true subgenre of nerd vengeance.